Quarantine and the Remote Control
How remote vibrator play is perfect for combating the lockdown blues
Every cam girl seems to have one. That’s what caught my attention at first.
It looked like a cute little pink antenna poking out from pussy lips all over the net. I was more than curious. When sex is your job, you take your tools seriously. You buy what works and can last up against your work schedule.
Lovense seems to have cornered the market of remote vibrators by adding features that link up to the tipping system that many cam workers utilize. That alone was something — a sex toy that paid attention to the needs of sex workers? Color me intrigued.
WeVibe has also been offering remote options to couples for years and has become a household sex toy name where tech is involved, as well as companies like Lelo and Pure Romance.
But those are just some of the many many options that are reviewed all over the net. And even though remote play seems to be in its infancy, it’s off to a strong start that’s only bound to get stronger, especially due to current circumstances.
That’s right, I’m talking about quarantine. Where I’m living, we are on round two of lockdown, and I, like many, anticipate the drought of dirty deeds that tend to come with hunkering down in your pajamas for a month or three.
Oof.
Those of us that live with our partners are lucky, but we still have to get creative to keep things interesting. Those of us with multiple partners may suddenly be cut off from some or all of them.
Cue my interest in remote play, something that I’d seen marginally represented at kink conventions and private parties. It didn’t seem for me at the time. But technology has changed, as had my need for new things. I went ahead and ordered a Lush 2, sending the link for the app to my partners, and hunkered down for something different during the quarantine.
My view on remote play was about to be altered forever.
Vibrators have only gotten better.
I’ll admit, I’ve been rather lukewarm on insertable vibrators. In the past, they have done nothing for me other than feel like a rather annoying tampon that wants to make its presence known.
My mind has been changed substantially. Ergonomics have come a long way in the development of sex toys. That, or my internal sexual responses have changed over the years. Likely, it’s a combination of both.
Remote vibrators tend to focus on internal stimulation, but there are just enough external factors to keep every bit of my bits happy. And the pressure of the vibrations actually felt as if they were targeting my insides in ways that they hadn’t been focused on before, which was a game-changer.
Sex toy companies are doing their homework, and it’s beginning to show. A solid toy that hits the right spots will ramp up the intimacy just from the difference in pleasure. I’ve been with partners I’ve adored and played with bullets and buzzers of all kinds, but it felt underwhelming because the pleasure itself was minimal, and just a hint of what was to come later.
With a toy that can bring you enough pleasure in the moment, that moment itself is ultimately more intimate. You’re no longer anticipating what’s to come because you might already be cumming.
As an exhibitionist, I never understood the appeal of being discreet…until now.
I’ll admit, I love being on display. Better yet, I love being the public plaything. I once did a scene in a large dungeon that had me strung up and helpless, with the remote to my bullet taped to my thigh and an invitation for any passerby who wanted to mess with the settings.
Discreet is not usually my agenda.
It wasn’t until I was issued a challenge that I realized subtle can be fun. Merely walking down the street without reacting seemed boring, but it suddenly became much harder to keep my cool whilst talking to the neighbor.
Suddenly everything can be a naughty adventure, which is great when your adventures are limited to trips to the grocery store and walking the dog in the park. Being unable to hug a partner can be difficult, but not nearly as difficult as keeping a straight face while ordering your to-go coffee. The latter is certainly a more fun struggle.
Public discretion and naughty out-in-the-open games are nothing new, but I didn’t realize how much I would enjoy the challenge of them until quarantine had me searching for something to fill the gaps of my dearly missed whips and chains.
As with all things, consent is a huge factor in public play. The people around me have not consented to being pulled into my sexual escapades, so the gravity of my reactions hasn’t escaped me entirely. Were I to lose control, I’d have a signal to reign it all in.
But insofar, I’ve yet to need it.
Text, voice, and video don’t replace touch, but they do encourage communication.
After asking a partner what he thought of long-distance play, he was honest about his experience.
“Initially, it seemed a little underwhelming. I don’t get to see all the fruits of my labor, and I felt like I was just pressing a button randomly. But after we started texting, sending audio and video…well, it got real hot real quick.”
Well, duh, one may think. But the real reason became obvious after we thought about it for a minute or two.
We were communicating our desires without limits.
Not everybody has the innate ability to talk dirty and feel confident about it, but through this platform, we had no choice but to communicate the things for which we were imagining and wishing. Were we in the bedroom, I probably would have done less verbal explanations and more hands-on action. But explaining all my little fantasies in detail while in the throes of vibratory heaven and hearing his secret wishes at the same time? It allowed us to find where they matched up, and that juicy bit of info may never have come to light face-to-face.
Could we not just tell each other these things in the bedroom? Hopefully yes! I’m pretty big on communicating during sex, because the brain is the sexiest erogenous zone to play with. But not everybody has flexed that communication muscle before.
Think of it as a crash-course in talking dirty. Where phone sex once served us, the digital era is rapidly bringing us even closer in our long-distance exchanges. Some toys sync up to give long-distance lovers simultaneous sensations at the same time. Others are meant to be left in and on so that you can play with each other at will throughout the day. Just as if they were right there with you, they could let you know exactly what they’re thinking at that moment…physically. From 1000 miles away.
No matter which way you slice it, that’s beyond cool.
So this once-vibrator-doubting exhibitionist has found her penchant for naughty, buzzing little secrets. My partners are pleased, I’m sated, and now I can’t help but wonder who else is out and about doing that same.
I hope everyone is safe and healthy during this troubling time. More than anything, I hope we all find ways to keep life creative and fun while our personal bandwidth is limited by the circumstances.
Just remember, quarantine doesn’t have to mean the end of your sex life.
In my case, it was just a door into a whole new version of mine.
