Sex and the City’s Samantha Helped Me Have My First Orgasm
The new season will be nothing without her…
Rewatching Sex and the City in 2020 with my new friend Alice was one of the highlights of a truly terrible year.
I found a release for my frustration in shouting at the screen at Carrie Bradshaw who, at times, is a truly infuriating character. Completely self-obsessed, out of touch, and undeserving of her success IMO.
Samantha Jones on the other hand is a total icon. Timelessly quotable she is imprinted on the hearts and minds of generations of women for her witty one-liners, rampant sexcapades and unapologetic approach to living life exactly how she wants.
Meanwhile, Alice and I agreed that the rest of the gang’s sex lives were totally vanilla for women in their 30’s. We pondered on the fact that, as women younger than these characters, our sex lives were much spicier, with the exception of Samantha, whose shenanigans never fail to impress — even for two sexual deviants like us.
Anyway, I always like to tell people, whether they asked or not, that Samantha was responsible for my first orgasm…
Flashback to 2004. I was a 14-year-old bag of hormones, dry humping everything (except for actual boys) but never achieving completion.
SATC was on late nights on Channel 4, and while these 30/40 odd-year-old skinny, rich, white women were largely unrelatable to a chubby Black teen, I would always watch it.
Mainly because “sex” was something I — like every other nerdy girl in year 8 — had become infatuated by but couldn’t have been further from having, and these women were in the city and having it all the time.
Then in one episode, something extremely relevant to my horny teenage self played out.
It was the one (season 4, episode 8) where Miranda’s mother has died and Samantha can’t have an orgasm, and she is frantic. Samantha is the cum queen, so this was very out of character for her…
Samantha:
I’ve lost my orgasm.
Carrie:
In the cab?
Charlotte:
What do you mean, ‘lost’?
Samantha:
I just spent the last two hours f***ing with no finale.
Carrie:
It happens. Sometimes you just can’t get there.
Samantha:
I can always get there.
Charlotte:
Every time you have sex?
Carrie:
She’s exaggerating. Please say you’re exaggerating.
Samantha:
Well, I’ll admit I have had to polish myself off once or twice, but yes! When I RSVP to a party, I make it my business to come.
Finally, something I had in common with one of these women. I was desperate to know what an orgasm felt like and I was sure I was close.
I didn’t really have the sexual confidence to properly finger myself — it felt weird and I had no idea what I was doing.
I felt perverse, frustrated and ashamed. But Samantha wasn’t ashamed. Here was a woman who knew what she wanted and that was to cum.
In this particular episode, Samantha pulls all of her tricks out the bag in a desperate attempt to feel something I had never felt before.
With the volume turned down so low as to make sure my mum wouldn't find out what I was intently researching — I crawled up close to my tiny tv so that my nose almost touched the screen and proceeded to take notes.
The Tap!
Samantha tried everything! Most of her methods were unsuitable for me — I wasn't ready to do anything with boys and I didn't own a drawer of dildos, or even an electric toothbrush for that matter.
Then, In one scene I came across something that might work… Samantha was laying in her bath, her feet up the wall with the tap running.
“What on earth is she doing?” I thought.
It took my 14-year-old innocent mind a moment to catch up before I realized that this was a masturbatory method.
I had to try it! I love baths and I always spend ages in there so I need not worry about my mum wondering what I was up to.
So, the next night, I ran the bath, locked the door and slipped in timidly.
I scooted my little teenage tush to the bottom of the tub and turned on the tap.
A bit of fiddling with the temperature and we were away…
It was all over very, very quickly.
Instantly I started to feel an uncontrollable and terrifying build-up. In shock and unable to move, I remember thinking “shit, this is it. I am actually going to have an orgasm.”
And sweet Jesus, or should I say, sweet Samantha, I did.
The explosion was incredible. My whole body convulsed — I had done it, I had achieved orgasm. The feeling of pride was immense and the next day I went into school and bestowed my knowledge upon every girl I knew about the tap.
Throughout that week I had girls floating up to me with the same look of elation and pride.
“I tried the tap… it worked!!!”
For the next few years — until I learned to really touch myself and eventually got someone to touch me — taking a bath took on a whole new meaning.
Every time I went to someone else’s house I would scope out their bath game. If they had a two-tap situation where the hot and cold water comes out of separate taps I would think, ‘aww damn, unlucky.’ You need that one tap set-up — you don’t want to burn or freeze your pussy off…
So, thank you, Samantha Jones. Thank you for being a role model for me at 14 and helping me have my first orgasm, a moment I will never forget. Thank you for being a symbol for doing whatever the fuck you want, not judging others and being independent. And thank you for being a role model to me now in my 30’s and forevermore.
That show ain’t gonna be shit without you girl.
