She Said She Liked It Rough
I had no idea where to begin
The other day, my wife Kate was talking to a friend on the phone about her record of falling for the wrong kind of man. She had a thing for bad boys, and was inevitably left heartbroken when they treated her badly.
“You should do what I did”, Kate said, “find a good boy and teach him how to be bad”.
I knew she was talking about me. Was that really what had transpired in our relationship?
When we first got together, Kate let me know that she liked it rough in the bedroom. This was a problem for me. I could do athletic — multiple angles, various speeds — but rough was not in my sexual vocabulary.
My whole being is about niceness. That doesn’t make me perfect, it just means that gentleness, politeness and empathy are programmed into everything I do.
By the way, I’m not trying to suggest that these are virtues I should be praised for. I did not overcome a mean streak through hard work and therapy. Niceness is my innate disposition, my default mode.
When I asked Kate what she meant by liking it rough, she said that she wanted to be “thrown around the bed”. Apparently, it was one of the things she enjoyed most during an otherwise disappointing previous relationship.
