So You Think You Can ‘Dom’?

The step-by-step guide to sensual domination.

Photo by Mi Ked—Used with permission from the artist

I’m referencing the televised dance show in the title because it makes a great metaphor for what a D/s relationship really is; a very delicate dance on the edge of power and surrender, and often, pleasure and pain.

It’s a dance that can take you to the highest of highs, and one where a slight misstep can cause you both to trip and fall.

Is kinky the new normal?

While it’s great that we’ve normalized kinky practices to the point where we can be free to live out our desires without feeling like freaks. It’s not ok, on the other hand, to demand kink from anyone, or to use it as a scapegoat for abuse, assault or any kind of inconsiderate behavior in bed.

Copying acts or aesthetics from either porn or BDSM without proper knowledge of what you’re doing is potentially damaging and even dangerous.

With great power comes great responsibility

Attributed to Spiderman, the origin of this quote goes back to the French National Convention in 1793. The British Parliament under Lamb, as well as Sir Churchill, dittoed the sentiment in 1817 and 1906, respectively.