Stop Commenting On Other People’s Pubic Hair
Maybe it’s none of your business
For years, I would go to a salon to get a bikini wax regularly. I wasn’t necessarily having wild sex all the time, but I felt like I was treating myself. I never thought I’d miss idle chit chat with my waxing lady while she rips the hair from my labia. I could also actually afford it before the pandemic. So, I miss that too.
I used to get insecure about my pubic hair. All of my body hair is dark and thick. I remember girls laughing at my armpit hair in the PE changing rooms as a teenager. It is becoming much more acceptable to embrace your natural body hair nowadays. It really depends on what you feel more comfortable with. Anyone else’s preference is irrelevant if it’s something that you don’t want to do.
I change my mood frequently. Sometimes, it’s about having the energy between my depression and chronic illness. I have other priorities and I don’t always want to think about the hair between my legs. Shaving is also really annoying. The angles of grooming pubic hair are really inconvenient without factoring in disability and the placement of my bathroom mirror.
When I was traveling, I had a full bush. Life as a backpacker isn’t that glamorous. I was really intimidated by the aggressive and painful bikini wax I got in Cambodia. After that, I decided to go with the flow. It got to the point where a man literally told me that he “digs the bush” when he was about to go down on me. While I appreciate the support, I’m not sure that’s how he would want me to remember the sex.
I personally think that your partner’s pubic hair is none of your business. I understand having a preference, but it doesn’t make that much difference. I’ve had sex with men and women with varying amounts of pubic hair. If someone is giving you the honour of seeing them naked, please don’t say anything about their pubes. Positive or negative, it’s just a weird thing to comment on.
That brings me to my reason for writing this. My most recent sexual partner asked me to trim my pubes. This has never happened to me before, despite my varying lengths of body hair. This man, while insisting that he doesn’t really care, commented about how my pubes gave him friction burn.
I am not an expert on science or pubic hair, but the basic function of body hair on genitals is to cushion and protect the area. It is supposed to reduce friction. Realistically, his injury was from the rough nature of the sex and nothing to do with my pubic hair. However, his repeated comments made me self-conscious.
I gave in and I shaved. I hadn't for a long time and that’s usually not an issue. I also wasn’t expecting our date to lead to him seeing me naked. I wish I could say I held my ground and refused, but I couldn’t stop thinking about my pubes and it was killing the vibe during sex. Was I annoyed enough to stop sleeping with him? No... Nobody’s perfect (and the sex is fantastic).
This whole situation made me consider the times that men have made me feel bad about myself. Having the confidence to stand up for yourself and to say no is something I’m working on. I feel as though pubic hair is just another area that women are scrutinized for and made to feel insecure about. Whereas, men can do the bare minimum and expect their partner to contort their bodies in a bathroom mirror to shave every last hair. Men… just do better and mind your business.
