Travel | Relationships
The Intimacy of No Intimacy
The mind cannot live on orgasms alone.
My mind snapped awake to the thought of her hair and smile as we sat together, deep in conversation. Other than hugs of departure and greeting, our conversations were the pinnacle of our intimacy. An intimacy I dreamed of—an intimacy I’d get out of bed for.
My dream of her awoke me—not any alarms or outdoor construction or the dog commandeering most of the bed. It wasn’t an erotic dream or a fantasy. There were no mental visuals of compromising positions or revealing clothing—just disembodied intimacy.
I’d met her on a dating app before moving out of the country. Months before boarding a plane for Lima, Peru, I switched the app’s location in hopes of making connections before leaving. Knowing no one in Peru, I had no friends, no family. Working from wherever I set my laptop, companionship would only come from the two dogs perpetually at my side.
Most matches on the dating apps evaporated as quickly as they came. Like watching rain drip down a window into nothing, the connections were there and then slid away. I couldn’t blame them. Some saw my distance. Others didn’t want to chat for several months before meeting. I’m sure there were those who didn’t believe I had plans and a ticket for Peru.
