The Shame Around Shaving Needs to Stop, Now
Everyone has the right to choose for themselves without being shamed.
There are plenty of articles about shaving here on Medium. It’s great to see that we’re finally entering the era where a woman can do whatever she wants with her body regardless of what the society tells her. Any shape, size, and hair preference is encouraged, and we are rapidly backing away from the ‘norms.’
I am happy to see that not only women but men are actively fighting for our rights and comfort to make us feel happier with our bodies.
However, the article I saw on twitter the other day inadvertently made me cringe: “Ladies, please don’t shave it.” The author encouraged women to let go of the ‘stupid trend from 90s porn’ and leave their pubic hair as it is as a significant turn on for him and other men.
In an attempt to destigmatize pubic hair women have been supposedly shaving to appease the society and men he is shaming those who shave out of their own beliefs and comfort to oblige his own turn-ons and preferences encouraging us, women, to ‘bring it back to the way it’s meant to be.’
Am I missing something?
‘The meant to be’ isn’t the argument we should ever have when talking about the female body.
Pubic hair isn’t the only type of hair we are supposed to have, yet many men shave their beard and mustache and would prefer their women shaving their armpits. So why is it we let someone decide what’s better for us, even if they try to make a difference and support us?
How come we went from shaming one female preference straight into another? Is there a way to let go of the way it meant to be and let everybody treat their body the way THEY WANT IT TO BE?
I am not the only woman who finds it more comfortable and enjoyable to shave. Whether it’s pubic hair or my armpits, shaving makes me feel fresher and less itchy and sweaty. I didn’t start doing it to meet anybody’s standards. In fact, unlike me, I am pretty sure my last boyfriend didn’t care about my body hair, not a single bit.
But even when I am home for days, don’t have sex for months, or only wear oversize clothes that don’t let anybody but me see my body, I reach for the razor whenever I am in the shower as soon as I feel I see my hair growing back and making me less comfortable.
Still, I don’t have anything against women not shaving their hair or men removing their hair as long as they choose it for themselves.
When it comes to our bodies, we shouldn’t divide our choices into sexy and not, or acceptable and unacceptable.
The only option that can take place in that conversation is our own comfort.
We shouldn’t shave or not shave just because our partner demands us so, that’s why I wouldn’t stop shaving if my next partner told me the bush turns him on. I wish I could please his preference, but knowing it would make me less comfortable and happy with my body, I know he would understand that and wouldn’t demand anything. (Otherwise, he could go to hell and date someone else.)
As Benjamin Davis rightly said,
‘… at the end of the day, the only thing that should matter when it comes to shaving is:
Do I want to?
If the answer is yes, go for it. If the answer is no, don’t. But let’s not let society have any more input about what goes on in the bedroom.’
Because after all, shouldn’t we let men and women do whatever they want and prefer regardless of what some guy on medium thinks turns others on?