The Things I’ll Say to a New Lover the Morning After
Imagining my sexual authority in action
What will I say to you, future lover, about tomorrow? Did we talk about this beforehand? I’ve tried that. And I’ve tried jumping straight into bed. I can’t say that either path was particularly successful, so who knows what I’ll do when we meet.
If you want to talk, great, let’s talk. The old “What does this mean?” conversation. The “Will this experience change things for us?” talk.
I don’t really care, one way or the other. I don’t have any expectation that you will call me tomorrow. Or that I will ever see you again. Part of this is past experience. The bar is low, so enjoy that. I’ve learned to expect nothing from a male lover.
But also some of this is just age. It’s too late for me to achieve the “young housewife and mother” dream. Without that guiding me, I feel like I can just enjoy sex. I can try new things with new lovers without trying to fit everything into a box.
We can have fun together. And maybe there are some feelings — certainly an attraction. Maybe feelings of friendship or even some form of love? (That would be nice.) We can enjoy ourselves and these feelings and whatever comes of it. Tonight.
