Howl
There’s No Such Thing as a Good Lover
Sex is about interaction and communication — not skill
In college, I can remember being at parties and listening to friends share their sexual adventures, until someone revealed a disastrous encounter and everyone laughed. Those conversations always closed with a comment like, “Obviously, his former girlfriends didn’t teach him anything about sex.” More laughter. And life would go on (with other sexual partners).
I heard this from my male friends, too, complaining about female partners who were terrible lovers. “They just have so little experience,” these conversations went, as if everyone was reading from the same script. “Their past boyfriends didn’t do shit to teach them how to be good in bed.”
After college, when I started having a different perspective on sex, I was surprised by how often I still heard conversations like this. I had assumed we would grow out of these lazy generalizations, but no. They are still alive and well and being kept alive by adults just like you and me.
So let’s get something straight, right off the bat: There’s no such thing as a “good lover.”
I know you are going to want to argue with me and tell about that time you had the most mind-blowing orgasms during a one-night stand…
