When Can Consent Be Withdrawn?
Before, during, and yes, even after sex
It should be an easy question to answer: When can you withdraw your consent to sexual activities? Anytime. Who can withdraw consent? Anyone. Why would they be allowed to withdraw consent? For any reason.
Consent is not a gift that you package up and hand over to someone else. Consent is, as sex educator Thista Minai describes it, a “persistent and fluctuating state” constantly being created and re-created by the people involved.
But there is a set of assumptions ranging from “all men want sex” to “blue balls” (spoiler: not a thing) that make people sometimes question the truth that consent can be withdrawn at any time.
Consent withdrawn before sex is easiest
It gives you the opportunity to find something else to do instead of the sex. Most of the time when people hear this “no” they aren’t in the heat of sexual arousal, and it’s much easier to keep the adrenaline from affecting how they responds to this particular pleasure being suddenly off the table.
Appropriate responses are things like “that’s cool” or “thanks for being clear about your boundaries.” Whoever has just withdrawn their consent has just saved everyone from the headache and awkwardness of sex gone wrong…
