Why Sharing Chores Might Not Lead to More Sex
“Choreplay” and the myth of housework and desire
My husband does our family’s laundry. If I believed in “choreplay,” I’d film a Tiktok of him emptying our laundry basket and set it to a song like “One Margarita.” With lyrics like, “I’ma open my legs…/I’ma give you some head/It’s about to get freaky tonight, baby (I’ma put it in my puss),” overlaying his third towel folding, the message would be clear: my husband, because he’s doing chores, is sexy.
But I don’t get “choreplay.” I find my husband delicious not because he folds our laundry or cares for our children, but because he’s a genuinely sexy guy that turns me on. It’s one of many reasons why I married him. His dimples make my knees weak.
But I’ve heard more than once that I’m “lucky” that we divide chores in our home. A mom I know once told me I’m “living the dream.” When my husband jumped up to get the vacuum after our daughter spilled her cheerios, my husband’s friend said, “Oh, you must be trying to get it in tonight,” like my husband was only doing it because he was going to get something in return and not because he was the one that happened to be closer to the vacuum when the cheerio-spillage happened.
I’ve heard again and again that when a marriage becomes sexless, it’s likely due to an unfair…
