Howl
Why So Many Women Run Hot and Cold When It Comes to Sex
We’ll die in our cages but it’s not safe to run free…
“Yes, I want this,” I say, softly. Of course I do.
Or rather, I want what I think this is. I want to take off my clothes and let loose with someone I think I can trust. I want to let myself be overcome with this desire. I want to drop every wall that I work so hard to keep up around me.
“You sure?” he asks.
“Yes,” I say. But I’m not sure, at all. I’m sure that I want what I think this is.
But are my instincts accurate? Because this has really never gone well. They always seem so nice in the beginning. So respectful. So thoughtful.
Then it comes up: the comment about my weight, a pointed question about why I don’t wax my pubic hair and that he’s really not gonna be able to “do much with that,” that “just-so-you-know” statement that he probably won’t call tomorrow because he’s really only into one-night deals, the thinly veiled frustration about how long it’s taking me to come…
I want to let go like I have never let go before. To not feel tensed in dread and anticipation of these words. I want to roll around naked without worrying about how my stomach (or my apparently unwanted…
