Don’t be afraid to get naked

A reflection on body image and insecurities

I don’t know of a single person who has never struggled with body image. No one looks in the mirror and sees their ideal self. Unfortunately, for some (including myself), self-esteem issues can interfere with one’s sex life. I spent about three months in a rehab facility for an eating disorder where they, for lack of a better term, force-fed me, causing me to gain about 30–40 pounds; for those that have struggled with eating disorders, you know what this can do to your brain.

While I was in rehab, though, I met this really good-looking guy who I started having sex with once I got out*. This was the heaviest I had ever been, and I had never been naked with someone else while looking like that. I found it very difficult to be myself; I couldn’t even fuck with the lights on. It took me some time (and a little weight loss) to get my confidence back.

*Editor’s note: While my writers are all lovely, inspiring, courageous people, they’re not necessarily role models. Officially, I wouldn’t say The Sex-Positive Blog recommends finding sexual partners in rehab, but I wouldn’t say we’re opposed, either.

I don’t truly believe that there is a cure for poor self image. We will always see our physical flaws and imperfections as flaws and imperfections. We can, however, embrace those flaws as a part of who we are (or change them if you REALLY want to; I’m not shaming anyone who has had plastic surgery).

A piece of advice regarding insecurity surrounding sexcapades: it’s important to remember that this person or persons that you’re with wanted to have sex with you and wouldn’t be doing so if they were repulsed by you in any way, so don’t be afraid to jiggle while aggressively bouncing on that dick.

Having positive body image is also extremely important if you are looking to be in a relationship. It is impossible to love someone else without loving yourself first; you usually just end up projecting your insecurities on to that person and the relationship will inevitably suffer.

Unfortunately, learning to love yourself is not as easy as ABC, and what works for one person may not work for everyone else. Every day, I try to pick out one thing that I really like about myself, and focus on that all day (I recommend giving it a try if you are struggling with confidence). This is not to say that I don’t still notice my flaws, but I can at least find some redemption whenever I am feeling…dare I say the word…ugly?

“My limbs work, so I’m not going to complain about the way my body is shaped.” — Drew Barrymore

Our bodies are good to us; they give us orgasms, for fuck’s sake! So don’t torture yours in an attempt to look like someone else, because you’re not someone else. You’re you! Everyone has a unique body type. Embrace yours, and I guarantee someone else will, too.