Let’s celebrate masturbation
If you don’t do it, that’s fine. If you do, that’s fine too!
Editor’s Note: This piece is part of our month-long celebration of #NationalMasturbationMonth! See here for a primer on the history of the celebration and why we at The Sex-Positive Blog believe it’s important to undo the stigma and shame surrounding self-pleasure.
Happy National Masturbation month!
I made this gif especially for the occasion:
National Masturbation month was created in response to Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders’ forced resignation (in December, 1994, by President Bill Clinton), the result of responding to a question about masturbation by saying, “I think it is something that is part of human sexuality and a part of something that should perhaps be taught.” Empowher.com has a terrific article with more on the history, as does the L.A. Times article linked to below.
The founders of Good Vibrations, a San-Francisco-based, sex-positive sex toy and education shop (often described as the ‘first sex-positive and women-friendly sex-toy shop in California’), declared May 7, 1995 National Masturbation Day in her honor and in protest, hoping to magnify and prolong the conversations about the ouster and about masturbation, itself.
Over time, the celebration has evolved from a day into a month (year-round for some of us). And, in keeping with the Good Vibrations spirit, I say we keep the conversation going!
And — if you’re of a mind — there’s no better way to celebrate and honor National Masturbation Day (and the remarkable, progressive work that Elders was doing in the mid-nineties) than masturbating!
Masturbation is nothing to be ashamed of. If you don’t do it, that’s fine. If you do, that’s fine, too! Do whatever makes your body feel good. It’s natural, common and a great, practical form of self-love.
Let’s celebrate masturbation!
How you want to masturbate is up to you, and there is no wrong way to do it. If I do offer any advice, I would suggest to proceed with caution when it comes to putting things in your body. If you’d like more information on body safety, check out my article on safe sex, but here’s a few quick tips:
- Silicone= good! PVC/Jelly rubber =bad!
2. Any toy used for anal stimulation MUST HAVE A BASE THAT IS WIDER THAN THE TOY. (Why? This why)
3. Lube is your friend! There are all kinds, too. Sex-Positive Blog favorite Lilly (who created the experiment in the photo above) has a terrific article discussing the benefits of coconut oil as lube, so just be prepared to do some research and experimentation before stumbling onto that perfect (for you) lube.
You also absolutely do not have to use toys to masturbate (although a vibe could change your life, just sayin’). Evolution gave us the hands, the most versatile bio-tool around.
Make it special
“To have orgasms, you have to have an erotic focus,” says Cynthia Lief Ruberg, LPCC
If you typically rush through your self-pleasure, make sure you’re in a comfortable environment with no distractions and with little possibility of interruption. Play some music, spread some flower petals, read an erotic novel, take a relaxing bath — it doesn’t matter how, but do something to honor the time and space. I’ve discovered that when I make masturbation a special part of my day and self-care, rather than just a perfunctory, compulsory body function, it has positive effects that ripple out into my life, well beyond just sexual gratification.
The world is your oyster! You can masturbate completely alone, with a partner or partners — masturbation (self-stimulation) is a delicious entrée, but it’s also scrumptious on the side, say, during intercourse, or while performing or receiving oral). However you do it, or don’t do it, is completely up to you. Just be yourself, have fun, and love yourself!
