On the Fence
I play for both ‘teams’
My life, my sex, my choice.
I’m bisexual, and I get hate from heterosexual and homosexual people for it.
It doesn’t mean I’m just going to be a lesbian later, and if I do that’s my business!
It doesn’t mean I ‘become straight’ when I’m dating a guy.
It doesn’t mean I’m only having threesomes (same answer for polyamory, but let’s not get into that here).
It doesn’t mean I’m on the fence, trying to decide which side I’m “really on.”
How I choose to identify is my own business and my right. As it is anyone’s right to be themselves. And I, myself, am bisexual.
I’m ‘not gay enough’ for a lot of lesbians I’ve known, not enough for them to be interested in dating me, for some not even enough to merit friendship. Most guys find the idea attractive, thinking it’ll end in a threesome for them, or that I’m just doing it for their benefit. A lot of people think my sexuality swings to align with whatever the gender of the partner I’m currently with is; like I magically turn straight when I date guys, and I’m just a lesbian when I date a girl. It doesn’t work that way.
Admittedly, somedays I find women more attractive, sometimes it’s men, sometimes I’m just a hedonist, and a lot of the time it’s somewhere in between, because it isn’t just physical features that I find attractive. Call me an equal opportunity dater, polyamorist, sex fiend. I’m proud of who I am. Life is ambiguous, just like my sexual preferences, and if that’s not ok with other people, screw them.
My life, my sex, my choice.
You don’t have to agree with my choices, but you should respect them. They don’t hurt others. They don’t hurt you. How is this still a problem in 2018? Identify as how you like, respect the choices and preferences of others, and if you still think bisexuality isn’t real, please keep your mouth shut until you get to understand the issue better.
I’m usually not one to get defensive. But I was out with my girlfriend this weekend when a friend asked if we ‘were lesbians now’ (knowing that we’re both bisexual, and that I have a boyfriend right now, too), and it rubbed both of us the wrong way. I’m not perfect. I used to joke about how even I (the girlfriend) thought my girlfriend was gay. And I’ve come to realize I was just perpetuating this awful mindset.
Hearing your identity ignored hurts, no matter what that identity is. To ignore the identity of someone else shows them you think your ideals are superior and their views aren’t worth acknowledging. And that’s crap. Everyone’s opinion should be respected so long as it doesn’t infringe on the rights of others and isn’t hurting anyone.
I’m not on the fence. I am the fence, and I love both sides. I’ll come and go as I please, with whomever I please. You don’t have to agree with my choices, but you should respect them.
