Oral Anytime?

A review of the tongue simulator sex toy

Sometimes I find it uncomfortable asking for a partner to just give me oral, and I’ve been on a bit of an oral bender lately. I was browsing Amazon.com a few weeks ago, looking for new toys, and came across this wonder.

It’s a tongue stimulator. And you can find it for sale here: Oral. Anytime.*

*Editor’s note: We strongly advise against buying sex toys on Amazon.

Some vibrators make me numb below the belt or make me too sensitive after a bit and I get ticklish. So I typically stay away from vibrators, but the interesting shape and potential won me over and this one arrived at my door earlier this week.

Unfortunately, this one is no heroine, either. Reviews for the product were mixed, and admittedly, I had gone in with high expectations. It’s fully waterproof and I was pretty pleased with the price ($25), and the thought of oral anytime sounded amazing. However, the shape made it a bit hard to get on the spot for me. It also didn’t provide anything similar to the stimulation I had expected. But it is still a vibrator, so it’s got that going for it.

I asked my girlfriend for her opinion, for science. My girlfriend isn’t usually a fan of oral, but she gave it a trying on her breasts and downstairs, and it failed to do the job for her, too. She ran into the same problems I did. Awkward shape made placement difficult and it didn’t live up to what we expected it to feel like. I still need to try it on the boyfriend, and get his opinion, too, but so far, it’s universal — meh.

For now, I’m calling this myth busted, and heading back to the drawing board. Better luck next time!

Please feel free to share any insight you might have on tongue stimulator toys below. I’m still on the hunt for the perfect one!