Talking dirty(ish)

#AdultConversations with Mr. Promiscuous: sex & swearing

Language is a funny thing. Languages differ at the level of countries and continents, of course, but smaller areas within the same nation can phrase things wildly differently. You can pick up bits of accents by living in a region long enough; some places use different words for the same thing, like the longstanding ‘soda vs. pop’ debate.

One thing that IS universal, no matter what country, continent or region you’re in, is swearing. No matter where you are or what language you speak, there are swear words. Not only that, but they’re usually about the same kinds of things: words about religion, words about bodily functions and words about sex. Ironically, we might have so many slang and idiomatic verbiage for sex and sexuality in part because of how much we don’t actually talk about them.

Dear Mr Promiscuous,

Why is it that almost all profanities are in relation to bodily parts/functions, with the vast majority being sexually charged?

Sincerely,

Cunning Linguist

Dear CL,

Profanity is something that dates back to the very beginning of language. No matter the culture, demographic, time or location, people are going to swear. The most common swears (“shit,” “fuck,” “damn” and the like) are all things people consider dirty or “simply not talked about” no matter what part of the world you’re in. Bodily fluids and the various acts involving them have always been seen as dirty or tied to disease, so we’re conditioned as children not to talk about them in public and hardly at all in private. As for the link between sex and swearing? Well, we’re going to have to explain a few things about why certain words become swears at all, so bear with me.

Editor’s note: I was inspired to do some Google Trends research. Perhaps the most surprising thing I discovered was that ‘porn’ has decreased in frequency of search since 2013, but I suspect that’s because when we’re searching for porn these days, the word ‘porn,’ itself, usually isn’t part of our searches. Right? Think about it.

Interesting fact: giving a nice, juicy “fuck” when you stub your toe is actually proven to help the pain, so some scientists theorize that the reason cursing is so widespread is just that: an instinctual pain-management behavior that evolution rewarded, and which therefore took hold. Swearing is more reflex than higher-brain function, which is why cursing comes so readily in the moment. Substituting a less-vulgar word doesn’t work. That action is a conscious choice, rather than a reflex, and doesn’t travel through the same brain pathways. So remember: when in pain, swear properly.

Remember when these were big?

A broader, international perspective illustrates how mutable the concept of cursing is. In Polish, Thai and Dutch they consider it a biting insult if you wish disease on people, like cholera (Another Fun Fact: In Dutch, you can add kanke — roughly translated as ‘cancer’ — to a word or insult to make it much worse than calling someone a shithead). In Finnish, you still have a lot of the body part curses (the worst of these are for female genitalia, because of course), but there are also a lot to do with the devil (perkele) and hell (helvetti). It’s especially interesting to see dialects of similar languages differ in swearing, as is the case between cursing in France and the cursing in Quebec, the latter of which was steeped in the presence of the Catholic Church, meaning that items of the church (like ‘tabernacle’) were employed as curses.

Why are these words the ones you utter or yell when in fits of intense emotion? That has to do with social taboo. As society churns on, we’re taught about what sorts of things are shameful or avoided in conversation and those ideas or phrases become taboo. They’re things people know about, but don’t want to talk about, or at least not straightforwardly.

People think about sex easily and often, but don’t often casually or frankly discuss it, so when their brain reaches for a strong, emotionally-impactful word, those are the ones right on top.

An interesting question: if we ever evolve into a truly sex-positive society, would the sex-as-swear convention change? Would people shout things like “taxes!” when they stub their toes?

Either way, be aware of the expletives you employ over the next week or two — what you reach for first as a swear word might say something about the things you think and feel about sex. Hopefully this has also given you some other interesting things to shout out the next time you need to exclaim something.

Sexily Yours,

Mr. Promiscuous

Originally published at aconversations.wordpress.com on April 2, 2018.