The joy of the mini bullet
How I was able to come again after having children
Editor’s Note: This piece is part of our month-long celebration of #NationalMasturbationMonth! See here for a primer on the history of the celebration and why we at The Sex-Positive Blog believe it’s important to undo the stigma and shame surrounding self-pleasure.
I always had a very high libido. I needed to have sex or masturbate at least once or twice a day prior to having kids. When I first met my husband and we were still dating, we had sex on average five times a day!
Even after we had our first daughter, we still managed to find the time and energy for daily sex and orgasms. My husband knew exactly how to knock my socks off and make me come before he finished each time. Sometimes this took some time and effort on his part, but we had all the time in the world to get me off, and boy, was it amazing!
This all changed when we had our second baby. My son was extremely high-needs, and to save my sanity, I let him sleep in the bed with us. This put a bit of a damper on my sex life, and eventually my libido. I now needed to get my first child to sleep, nurse my second child to sleep (which normally took hours), and then figure out a way to keep him safely in the bed so my husband and I could creep over to the floor for a quickie.
We had on average five minutes, occasionally ten if we were lucky, before our infant son woke up demanding my attention again. As many women can attest to, it can take more time than that to get a woman to climax, even in ideal circumstances. Adding in the fear of my son waking early kept my mind from focusing on the pleasure occurring, and I struggled to have an orgasm. I struggled even getting wet and enjoying the sex. I kept trying. I wanted to feel pleasure again. I desperately missed the passion my husband and I previously shared.
So when a girlfriend mentioned the mini bullet, and how it helped her achieve quick orgasms when time was of the essence, I figured we needed to try it! My husband, feeling defeated and having a bruised ego because of his struggle to bring me pleasure was all for trying ANYTHING! I ordered the mini bullet the next day, and it arrived in two days, just in time for the weekend. Ours was a vibrant shade of teal. Not that the color should matter, but I do like the color teal!
It is very small and compact, roughly three inches long, and comes with four different speeds, but only one button on the tip of the bullet. So you press the one button to turn it on, and then repeatedly press it to find the desired speed. I can imagine that annoying some people, since if you push one too many times, you have to cycle through all the levels back to where you wanted it, but I actually liked this function. It was easy to handle in the dark, when I could not always see the buttons. It is also supposed to be fully waterproof, but we haven’t explored that function yet.
We tried the magic bullet that first night, but by the time I climaxed, our son was waking up and needing me, which left my husband a bit, umm frustrated. A week later, we decided to try using the magic bullet on my clit during intercourse. We could both have some pleasure in our very tight time-frame.
WINNING COMBINATION!
It also had an extremely quiet motor, another requirement since the sleeping baby was a mere ten feet away, and we did NOT want to risk waking him.
Ultimately, after the second pregnancy, my husband and I felt disconnected as I struggled through a high-tension, low-libido period. Getting back to normalcy is an ongoing process, with many different steps, but the mini bullet helped bring some passion back into my life and helped me feel like not just a mother, but a woman, capable of feeling pleasure again.
And that feeling?
Invaluable.
