Not Tonight, Honey: Common Lies We Tell Our Partner to Avoid Sex
Cutting through the lies to resolve challenging truths
You love your partner. You love sex. But there are times in every relationship when at least one half of a couple doesn’t feel like having sex — and in some cases, they may feel like it’s necessary to tell a little white lie in order to get out of engaging intimately.
The Lies We Tell
“Avoiding sex all together doesn’t help our partner understand our sexual wants and needs.”
According to relationship therapist and sex researcher Sarah Hunter Murray, PhD, RMFT, author of Not Always In the Mood: The New Science of Men, Sex & Relationships, lies to get out of having sex don’t have to be extravagant or even detailed. In fact, three of the most common lies that she has observed when working with couples are quick and dirty, and quite mundane.
“I have a headache.” Although this statement is the thing of sitcom punchlines, it’s actually a common lie that is used as a catchall excuse covering anything from someone feeling insecure about their body to being disconnected from their partner in general. “People tell this lie because sometimes it’s easier than saying outright ‘no’ or…
