From Monogamous To Promiscuous
How did I go from good girl to anyone’s girl so quickly?
After getting permission from my husband, Jamie, to see other men outside of our marriage after his injury, it took me a little while to gather the courage to go ahead with it.
It wasn’t that I was afraid or lacking in confidence, I think the problem was that subconsciously, I thought of myself as someone who was monogamous. I’d never even considered sleeping with men who weren’t my husband before his injury, and in the other relationships that I’d had before him, I’d never cheated on anyone or had a partner cheat on me.
My parents are painfully monogamous. The obvious lust they still have for each other after 43 years of marriage is easy to spot and my mother happily tells me that my 67-year-old father and she make love once or twice a week still.
I was cut from that cloth as well, although sex with Jamie was always nice, just not very spectacular. To speak plainly, I’ve never been a very sexual person, so his clumsiness in bed and average performance was not something that I thought positively or negatively about.
Before his accident, we might have had sex once or twice a month throughout our entire relationship. Even when we first became intimate, and subsequently moved in together, once a week was probably the most I can ever recall.
It wasn’t until he was in hospital and I began masturbating myself to sleep at night to release stress that I discovered how much I enjoyed sex and how incredible it felt to have whole-body orgasms.
Not only had I discovered that I was a sexual being, but that sex itself was arousing to me. I bought myself a vibrator, began watching pornography, and found myself fantasizing about sex with men that I’d see on the street, at the gym, or who I knew through work.
And then there was the night with Luke that helped me cross the line on monogamy and into the world of something else.
The Door Opened and I Raced Through
After eschewing my chains of monogamy by having sex with Luke, it was like I was unshackled and again, everything around me seemed different. I began to see the world through a different…