I Stopped Meditating and Started Masturbating
And I’m feeling so much better about quarantining
See that smile? That’s me. Well, not actually me. But she could be me. Close enough for government work.
I was trying to get that glow from meditating. She may have it, or is it just what looks like the beginning of a baby bump? In that case, that’s definitely not me. Now, if she’s been into the chips and dips or the cookie jar because she’s tired of trying to be the queen of isolation, I get it. The COVID 15.
Otherwise, that blissed-out, everything’s right with the world grin? Yeah, I know where she’s at. It’s probably because of that little appliance in her hand.
Look, we all need a little help from our friends. And these days, my fake punny bunny gives me that lift I need to get over the hard spots. Or, shall I say, lack of hard spots. Hard things. Hard punny bunnies. Whatever. You get my drift.
When my little munchkin was learning anatomy, that is, the day she happened to see her daddy coming out of the shower and noticed he had something between his legs that she didn’t, she struggled when we taught her to say penis.
She was all fuzzy animals and play toys. So when we named Daddy’s appendage, it came out of her little rosebud mouth, punny bunny.
