My Fantasy Affair Partner Wish List

Finding My Personal Nirvana

Photo by Mudassir Ali from Pexels

Oh, I have given this far too much thought. Years of cheating have made this list get longer and longer. It’s a pipe dream, I know, finding everything I want in an affair partner.

My fantasy lover list includes:

1. Is local. Please be able to fuck me on the sly easily. No syncing calendars. No monthly planning. More of “Are you free?” and “God, yes.”
2. Can skip a day of work every so often to spend a day in a hotel room getting sweaty. Is there anything better? I don’t think so.
3. Enjoys creatively building sexual tension between our rendevouz. Less of “What are you going to wear?” and “What can I bring?” to more of “Let’s try something new” or “I have a surprise waiting.”
4. Is sexually confident and curious. Yeah, duh. Grey matter is actually what matters most in bed.
5. Isn’t on the prowl looking for someone better. After a long-standing dead bedroom, I need a man who wants me loud and clear.
6. Has an insatiable appetite for cunnilingus. Yes, please. Another line item not available at home. I will be a grateful pillow princess.
7. Is meticulous in their OPSEC (operational security — aka how you cover up your shady shit).