When Lust Takes Over
“I watched in wonder as each man lost his inhibitions about gay sex and sucked other men’s cocks or were fucked while they watched me do the same.”
There was a point in my life when I used to resent people calling me a slut, but that was long ago. I am now an unabashed slut and proud of it if you define that pejorative term as I do: a promiscuous woman who has sex for the sake of sex and enjoys it. The men in my life who care about me don’t seem to mind that I am a slut, in fact, they seem to rather enjoy it. Unfortunately, I’m not with those men now. I am stuck on an Indian Ocean island in a small resort surrounded by a pod of Europeans who have been in the same boat as myself since the pandemic struck. I have been supported here by a distant husband who will finally rescue me in December. In the meantime, the 20 men and women who have been sharing the same accommodations as myself have all fucked each other repeatedly. I have been fucked by every man here and often by more than one at once. It’s our only form of recreation.
What I have observed is there is a point of sexual interaction when desire overtakes everything else and I’ve seen very straight men engulf a hard cock in their lips and suck it lovingly until it erupts in their mouth and they swallow all the hot spunk they can. It’s not something that’s commented on afterwards, it’s just sort of acknowledged that a man can lose control at the height of his desire and do what he would denigrate a gay man for doing without compunction. Once they’ve broken that taboo, they do it over and over again whilst still maintaining their outward heterosexuality.
There is a sense among those who I have spent the last eight months with that this period in our lives will never be remembered and whatever happens here stays here, like in Las Vegas. There are a number of marriages in suspended animation and the sexuality of both the men and the women has become more fluid. I am an outlier here because I don’t communicate in French or German and nobody shares my American nationality, my Jewishness or my native language. I am the only single woman left although I now share a villa with a Danish lover who I will forget the moment I leave.
I’ve become increasingly honest in my writing while, at the same time, realizing that the story of my life that I do relate is fairly shocking to others. I left New York about eleven years ago with a new husband and moved to London and I proceeded to do everything within my power to destroy that marriage and somehow didn’t succeed. I came very close one time after I did something so appalling that few men would have given me the time of day. I’m not just referring to a sexual infidelity; I betrayed my husband so completely and behaved so selfishly that I have shut it out of my mind for years.
I recovered my senses and began looking for other lovers like my husband and I now have one more spouse and I’m engaged to another. In spring of next year I will be married to three different men who all love me and are committed to me. That’s illegal, selfish and amoral and everyone involved with me knows that. It’s unfair for Brian, my first husband, and equally so for Patrick, my second spouse, and Sinjen, my husband-to-be is going into things with his eyes wide open.
This year I was going to do something different. I came here with a lover I should have said goodbye to long ago and Brian took a job in the Middle East. I was supposed to leave here in late March and then move to a small apartment in Beirut for the year where the men in my life could come and be with me. It was just for a year and I love adventure, but we went on lockdown, flights were grounded and all plans curtailed and I have been cut off from the three men I love since then.
I was the first woman to lose my inhibitions because I had so few to start out with and I became the sexual entertainment for a few months until all the other women followed suit. I had group sex with a number of men most evenings of the week and they were frenzied sessions and I watched in wonder as each man lost his inhibitions about gay sex and sucked other men’s cocks or were fucked while they watched me do the same. I remember the first time a man joined me in worshiping another man’s prick and since then I became so inured to it I would push another man’s face into another man’s groin without a thought and watch with fascination as he bobbed up and down on a hard tool with enthusiasm few women could muster. I have lubed up men’s cocks so they could fuck other men. I would suck their cock as another man was thrusting inside them. It was as if what went on in a room in one villa at the edge of the earth was not happening in the real world, but it was. It is quite erotic looking at a man who once would never have considered sucking another man’s cock swallow another man’s hot spunk and lick the the cockhead to make sure he gets every drop of semen.
Nobody ever commented on the previous nights the next day but, in the evening, they gathered in the same room and lust overcame all inhibitions. Other women began to join us and, at a point, when everyone was thoroughly debauched, I retreated from the scene, selected the most innocent and youngest among the lot and made him temporarily mine.
When I explain my life outside this pod to the people who live within it I am confronted with the same sort of moral outrage I would expect from a small town in Alabama or a village in County Kerry and this is from people who have engaged in adultery and every sexual act possible virtually every night since we have been here.
I call Sinjen, Patrick and Brian every day and tell them how much I love them and how I can’t wait to be back with them. They have remained faithful to me this entire time. Each sends me care packages regularly and we have our erotic fantasies together on email. They are successful, handsome and independent men who could each have their choice of women and they willingly chose to be with me alone, in the knowledge that they will never completely have me. They live in different parts of London and they know of each other but will never meet. There’s no formal rota set up for me when I return but I will spend most weekends with Sinjen, who is younger than me and the same age as Brian. I will spend an equal amount of time with Richard and Brian during the week. They all have active careers so my days will be left for me to read and shop.
I enjoy the adoration Brian gives me sexually, the kinkiness of Sinjen is a massive turn on and Patrick has the sort of body and cock that overwhelms me. Sex for me is very important but maybe, as I get older, my desires will diminish. Security is becoming a factor in my life for the first time and each one of my loves is successful enough to spoil me. I am on three property deeds: three bank cards and two marriage certificates and one more on the way. I have no career, nor do I want one. Being taken care of by three wonderful men is enough for me.
