Why it’s Important to Embrace Your Kinks

Chances are you’re not the only one into that thing

Sam Halliday
Feb 10 · 4 min read
Photo by Artem Labunsky on Unsplash

Something amazing happened the other day. And you helped.

Let me explain.

You see, I’ve always had a few kinks that I felt were a little “out there”. People would talk about wanting to try something wild. But almost invariably, nobody would ever talk about any of my ideas.

In fact, most of the things I’d hear people talk about fell in the top 5 kinks listed in this article. And that’s not to say that these are not good ideas. They’re GREAT ideas, and if these are things that turn you on, I really want you to explore them. In fact, I want you to explore them, and tell us all about your experience. We all want to hear about it!

But when I’d think about the things that turn me on which aren’t talked about, I’d wonder if there is something a little too deviant about ME.

Have I crossed the line? Why hasn’t anybody else thought about these things? Surely, in the history of mankind, I can’t be the only one who’s had these ideas.


Enthusiasm is the Key

Scrolling through articles, I’d see other writers boldly describe their sexual desires. It started, as far as I can tell, with an article from Yael Wolfe titled My Sexual Bucket List, in which she listed all sorts of ideas that she hadn’t tried yet, but wanted to. It was bold and edgy and inspiring. She put herself out there, saying these are things I want to try.

Others soon followed, each coming up with their own honest ideas. Articles from Demeter deLune, Meaghan Ward and Ena Dahl shared their ideas. And as I read their articles, I couldn’t help but feel their excitement.

It was their enthusiasm that did it for me, and I very much wanted to see them get what they wanted. If my partner approached me with an idea with that kind of enthusiasm, I’d be open to their idea for that reason alone.

If they could be open and honest about their kinks, why couldn’t I do the same with mine?

It was time.

Someone Else is Thinking About it

I wrote my own Sexual Bucket List. Immediately, it got an overwhelmingly positive response. In fact, one of my kinks — kegels during sex, inspired Meaghan Ward to write her own article on that subject alone, in which she asks Why WOULDN’T you do this?

I’m sorry, ladies, but if you aren’t incorporating doing those kegels and tightening those pelvic floor muscles while you have a penis inside of you, you’re doing your partner a disservice.

There’s no reason your vagina can’t be doing a little extra work to give your partner extra pleasure — and the kegels will benefit you, too!

So next time your partner enters you, give him a little squeeze with your vagina, and then keep on doing it the whole time you’re having sex.

Because to me, there’s no reason that all sex shouldn’t be kegel sex.

Quite an endorsement!

Go There. You Might Inspire

But there was another kink I listed briefly that I was a little nervous about, and that the subject of peeing during sex.

So pee fetishes I am told are quite common, and I hear about them pretty often, from peeing in the shower, to peeing on your partner, to drinking pee.

But nobody had talked about peeing during sex.

And that idea turned me on — the idea of being inside a girl and just losing control of my bladder and peeing inside her. The thoughts this idea conjured up! How it must feel! The orgasm she’d have from the sensation!

But again, had I gone too far? Had nobody else thought of this? Was it something that was just a little too bizarre? Would I be judged for being into this idea?

It was time to talk about it. I wrote another article: My Kink: Peeing During Sex, and talked all about what turned me on about it.

And guess what? To date, it has been my most viewed article ever. It even got curated, which typically doesn’t happen with sex articles!

And of the comments, I had at least one person saying that while they had never considered this idea, they’d at least be open to it if their partner wanted to try it.

So that means that others are curious enough to at least consider the idea.

I am not alone. And neither are you.


If you have a kink, it’s time to no longer be ashamed. It’s not fair for you to deny your fetishes to yourself. You’re not weird or deviant.

Rather, let your freak flag fly! Embrace your fetish, and if you can explain to your partner why you are so fascinated by this idea, they might get excited by your enthusiasm and try it out. As long as both of you are consenting adults, never be afraid to explore!

Sexual Tendencies

Looking at Sex in All of its Human Glory

Sam Halliday

Written by

Trying to become a better human. Follow me on Twitter or email me: samhalliday4@gmail.com

Sexual Tendencies

Looking at Sex in All of its Human Glory

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade