COSMO-EROTIC HUMANISM

Cosmo-Erotic Humanism

A Sexual Universe:

We live in a sexual universe. From subatomic particles to the plant world, where the birds and bees are symbolic of the great pollination dance, to early animals, plants, humans, to the celestial attraction between planets, the fundamental structure of reality is allurement and attraction that creates profound contact at every level of the evolutionary chain. This is what we mean by Eros. We live in a universe driven by allurement. In that sense, we could say that Reality is Eros all the way up to the highest spirit forms and all the way down to the smallest subatomic particles and the most essential forces of the universe.

A New Dimension of Eros:

The first quality of Eros is the experience of radical aliveness. Inextricable from the erotic experience of radical aliveness is the second dimension of Eros, the powerful desire to make contact. Eros is the perpetual drive of reality for ever deeper intimacies. One succinct definition of Eros therefore might be: Eros is radical aliveness passionately desiring ever deeper contact — ever deeper intimacy. The drive for contact is however not merely an additional dimension of Eros. Radical aliveness is how the drive to contact feels. Now let’s add yet a third dimension of Eros. Contact always births something new. But not just something new but something new that births a new whole, greater than the sum of the previous parts. Eros generates new creativity, new emergence, which is always expressed as new intimacy, a new whole greater than the sum of all the previous parts. We can now reformulate our definition of Eros. Eros is radical aliveness, passionately desiring ever deeper contact — intimacy — which always births new and greater wholeness.

Now we turn to sex. The sexual expresses the fundamental eroticism of all of reality from the subatomic to the celestial to the human. But sex does not exhaust the eroticism of nature. The sexual is an expression of Eros. It is not the whole of Eros. Eros is the inner texture of reality that lives awake, alive, and aware in every moment. To wake up to Eros is to wake up to the shocking yet stunning realization that the universe is passionately making love all the way up and all the way down the spectrum of creation. Sex in the human realm is an expression of that same core yearning for contact — Eros — which drives all of reality. Sex is cosmic Eros performed in the flesh.

Cosmology tells us that we are made from stardust in constant equilibrium — attracted and held together by gravitational pull, allurement kept apart by the autonomous trajectory or natural repulsion. We are partnered and yet separate — all part of the great cosmic Eros of reality.

Eros is the fundamental movement in the universe toward contact. Sex is an expression of the core Eros of the cosmos. Sex is the drive for contact, the drive to bond, to connect, to be intimate. Sex is an expression of the drive to greater intimacy which is the creative essence of reality itself. In union we all come home. But for the erotic mystics home is not the boredom of perpetual rest but ground for ever greater and deeper union. Sex models the ecstatic urgency which is the feeling of the drive to union.

In union two separate parts do not fuse but rather make contact through intimate bonding to create newness. This newness is the greater union, the higher love, which is the yearning of reality’s Eros. From quarks, to atoms, to molecules, to cells, to early organisms, to plants, to animals, to mammals, to ideas themselves, this core drive for contact is the Eros of all of reality.

Said differently, the great realization of the spiritually incorrect tantric masters is that reality is allurement. Allurement is the quality of attraction which is the very fabric of existence. From electromagnetic attraction to gravity to rungs of evolutionary emergence to the intellectual sex between ideas that generates newness, all of reality is moved by the intense allurement for contact, which generates new creations.

Way before sex appears on the scene, allurement is at work throughout the cosmos, attracting all expressions of creation to each other. From the first nanoseconds of The Big Bang to the first quarks that generated your body, to your own life, unique allurement is what drives all of life. Who are you if not your unique set of allurements? Your physical structure is the composite of the allurements that caused its atoms to form into molecules, its molecules into cells, and its cells into organs. Everything in creation is attracted to everything else, and this urge to know each other, to communicate, to join and make something greater is the allurement that lies at the very heart of life. Sex is an expression of this erotic drive.

Then in human sex, Eros becomes conscious of itself. In conscious human sex all levels of one’s being are brought into higher union. This is the new sexual narrative which we have called sex erotic. Cosmic Eros is enacted in the flesh. Sex erotic transcends and includes the physical. The human being becomes the creative drive of the cosmos, all levels of body, mind, emotion, and spirit moving toward union. We will go deeper into this truth about the nature of reality in our conversation about allurement, which is the third face of Eros.

Sex Erotic

All of this forms the matrix of the new sexual narrative- Sex Erotic.
Evolutionary theory, systems science, the new physics, the kabbalistic secret of the cherubs, the ancient knowing of Heiros Gamos, all come together to weave this new sexual story. Reality is Erotic. Or said differently, human sexual eros with small letters models the great Eros of the Cosmos at every level of reality. Reality is Eros, God is allurement, Reality is allurement, the sexual models the erotic, God is Eros — all of these are potent expressions of the new sexual narrative for our time. It is only this sexual story that is an affront to shame. When you understand that at its source, the sexual desire that arises in you is the allurement of life itself yearning for contact, shame is eviscerated.

None of the classical sexual narratives — sex positive, sex negative, sex neutral, or sex sacred — have the capacity to address the fullness of our sexual experience. All are true but only partially. Moreover, none of these four narratives are an affront to shame. It is only this fifth sexual narrative, sex erotic, the sexual story for our time, that has the potency to deconstruct shame. The universe is erotic, motivated and animated by allurement and attraction. The sexual drive is but an expression of the core evolutionary Eros that moves all reality. It is only this spiritually incorrect but scientifically accurate understanding of reality that can birth a sexual narrative that honors the radical dignity of our desire.

From Ethics to Ethos:

If you are with us up to this point, it will be self-evident to you that Reality is Eros has absolutely nothing to do with inappropriate sexuality. Reality is Eros takes radical sexual ethics as a given. It addresses the next step beyond sexual ethics, upon which all sexual ethics depend. That is the articulation of a sexual ethos, that is to say, a sexual story that is true both to spirit and science and to our own deepest experience and yearning.

Reality as Eros, is an ethos that speaks equally to liberal protestant, progressive devout Catholics, Orthodox or liberal Jews southern Baptists, Boulder Colorado New Agers, singles, hipsters, millennials, yuppies, and entrepreneurs of every color, nationality, creed, and orientation. Reality is Eros has nothing to do with whether you are monogamous, celibate, or polyamorous. It has nothing to do your particular sexual style or code of behavior. The knowing of Reality is Eros is, however, core to your most fundamental vision of reality, and therefore your core experience of both your sexual and erotic self. A complimentary way of saying this is, God is Eros or God is love. Reality is love. Not ordinary love but outrageous love, the love that is Eros.

The reason again that we add the words “outrageous love”–as we noted above- is because it has a power that the word “love” does not have by itself. Outrageous love is caring, compassionate and kind. But outrageous love also has a fierce quality. That is the quality that “outrageous” connotes. In English we do not have a word which captures the quality of reality that seamlessly arouses, attracts, allures, enchants, shatters, demands, and delights. We are so overwhelmed by the power of this quality that we assign to it a word — outrageous — that is on the one hand confronting and demanding and on the other raw delight, desire, and amazement. Outrageous Love is Eros.

Eros is not just sex. Sex is too small a word to contain the wholeness of Eros. Sex merely points toward Eros. Eros is so much greater. The erotic is the pulse of God beating at every level of reality. So, by Eros we do not mean human sex, but rather the Cosmic Eros of which sex is but one potent expression.

If we trace sex to its source we realize that the body electric is plugged straight into God… Once you discover that current you will never be the same.

A Cosmos Driven by Eros

We live in cosmos driven by Eros. The universe is a perfect, interconnected whole that at the same time seeks greater wholeness. The universe is radically alive, infused with presence and infinite vitality, even as it is infinitely intimate and whole. Everything rests in the being-ness of spacious perfection. And yet the universe is driven by evolutionary Eros. The cosmos is not only being but becoming. While being is characterized by harmony and equilibrium, becoming is characterized by a kind of ecstatic urgency and disequilibrium. Evolutionary Eros is constant becoming. It is the inherent, ceaseless desire for more and more, contact and creativity. Consciousness yearns for contact. More contact always births new creativity. New creativity creates new babies of all kinds, or what science calls new evolutionary emergents. This is not an accident but the essential, sacred nature of an erotic universe. This is the lure of becoming which animates and drives all existence.

Walt Whitman caught a glimpse of this reality in his poem, Song of Myself:

“Urge and urge and urge,
Always the procreant urge of the world.
Out of the dimness opposite equals advance, always substance and increase, always sex,
Always a knit of identity, always distinction, always a breed of life.”

Why Sex Is the Ultimate Model

The reason the sexual models the erotic is two simple steps. First because reality is Eros. Second, because sex or allurement is the structural nature of reality, Eros all the way up and all the way down, it is utterly natural that the sexual models the erotic. It is almost self evident that sex should be the seat of all wisdom about reality. How could it be otherwise? Sex models the Eros of all reality which inherently seeks more and more contact, mutuality, recognition, union and embrace. Paraphrasing one evolutionary scientist, the fragments of the world, driven by the forces of Eros, seek each other so that the world may come into being. Desire is at its most fundamental level the desire for contact. Contact always births newness. The new thing might be a baby. Or it might mean a new level of intimacy. New might mean new creativity or possibility. In what one philosopher calls Idea Sex, ‘new’ means new insight and new discovery that comes from intimate contact between ideas and people who are attracted to each other. Sex is an expression of the evolutionary Eros. The desire for contact is an expression of the core nature of the evolutionary Eros that drives all reality. This Eros animates and drives every dimension of life. Sex models Eros means that sex is the arena where the ecstatic urgency of our drive to make contact is most apparent, most obviously pleasurable, and most self-evidently creative.

The Cosmo-Erotic Universe

To live an erotic life is to know that you are part of a Cosmo-erotic universe. We live in a cosmos driven by Eros. Eros is not an aberration but the natural pulse of reality. Our purpose here is to enter into some depth in describing the Cosmo –erotic nature of our universe. This is what Meister Eckhardt understood when he wrote, “we must learn to penetrate things and find God there”.

To get a sense of the Eros of the cosmos, we need to go back to how it all began. Let’s first recapitulate what we have learned so far. The innate design of the cosmos is one of attraction and allurement. The interior face of the cosmos is Eros — the motivational force of evolution itself, participating in the yearning force of being. Written in small letters, eros is sex, written in capital letters, Eros is the Cosmic pulse of reality. The sexual models the erotic. Reality is Eros and God is Eros are precisely the same thing. For what is reality if not God, and what is God if not reality?

The Plot line of Reality

What evolution teaches us is that reality is not a fact, but a story. A story has a beginning. It has a plot line. The action has direction and is driven by underlying forces. Scientists say that it appears there really was a beginning known as The Big Bang. The cosmos was birthed through a great flaring forth of light and matter, animated and driven by a force of wild attraction, emerging from a single point that expanded and is still expanding. This is the radical beginning of the most outrageous love story ever told.

The universe is not a fact but a story. A story means that reality is not static. It is going somewhere. Reality has direction and purpose. But it is not an ordinary story. It is a love story. And it is not an ordinary love story. It is an outrageous love story. Outrageous love, as we have seen, is but another descriptor of Eros. Based on our deepest scientific and mystical understanding of reality it is entirely accurate to say that the purpose of existence is fulfilled through ever deeper manifestations of outrageous love. Outrageous Love or Eros is the force that drives what scientists have taken to calling the self-organizing universe. Cosmologists at the Santa Fe Institute liked to call this self-organizing property, which moves reality to ever-higher levels of order and love, the fifth force of the universe. Besides the electromagnetic, the nuclear, the strong, and the weak, there is a fifth force that drives the whole story. This fifth force is an inherent ceaseless creative force of attraction, Eros by any other name. The gravitational and nuclear events that shape and mold the universe come from the power of allurement. Everywhere we look, we see examples of this urge to merge and emerge, from the vast galaxies to the smallest particles, across the animal kingdom and into humankind. Eros is the most powerful force in the cosmos, binding us and everything else together. It is both the currency of connection between human beings and the essential force that drives the evolutionary process as a whole

The Erotic Motive of Cosmos

Science looks through the eye of the mind and the eye of the senses. Spirit looks through the eye of the heart. At this moment in history, we are seeing with growing clarity that all three eyes are describing the same reality. Our contemporary understanding of Eros at the subatomic and cellular levels augments the realization of the great traditions which saw erotic love as the primary motivating force of the cosmos.

From Sexual Ethics to Sexual Ethos

Sexual ethics is vital. One of the great evolutions of consciousness in our generation is sexual ethics. We need to have zero tolerance for all forms of sexual harassment and abuse. This includes domestic violence, date rape, sexual harassment or abuse, false complaints about sexual harassment or abuse, internet abuse, and all the other violations of our sexual integrity. There can be no new sexual conversation without sexual ethics. We must all stand together on the side of the victims, even as we must be careful to discern who the real perpetrators are and who the real victims are. In a classic victim triangle, sometimes the perpetrator disguises him or herself as either a victim or a rescuer.

But while sexual ethics is prerequisite for any new sexual narrative, it is not the story itself. We need not only sexual ethics but a sexual ethos. A new sexual ethos transcends and includes ethics. A new sexual ethos includes a new sexual story, what we have called here a new sexual narrative. The articulation of the new sexual ethos is precisely the intention of this writing. What must emerge from this new ethos, however, is much more than simply sexual ethics. When we really understand that reality/God is Eros, and that the sexual models the erotic, then the door opens to a possibility far more shocking than externally imposed sexual ethics. What emerges is not merely sexual ethics but that sex is ethics. The text of ethics is written in the body sacred. That is the implication of the new sexual ethos.

There is an intimate nexus of relationship between the erotic and the ethical. All failures in Eros lead to a breakdown of ethics. When we are not filled with the aliveness of Eros, we try to fill up the emptiness with pseudo Eros. Pseudo Eros expresses itself as all forms of addiction or acting out — the moves we make to cover up the void. But the principle that sex is ethics is a momentous leap in understanding, even beyond the intimate nexus between the erotic and the ethical.

Sex is ethics means the text of ethics is written in the body. It means that the quivering tenderness of the sexual contains within it a complete human bill of rights. To be truly erotic, truly sexual, is to be ethical.

For sex implies human rights. The exquisite beauty of the moist feminine open to penetration, the rawness of desire, the yearning to touch and be touched, to ravish and be ravished, to hold and be held, are all radical affirmation of our irreducible dignity and intrinsic worthiness.

In the sexual we are divinity in motion, screaming the name of God. In that divinity our dignity is disclosed. All interpersonal ethics are inscribed in our flesh. That is what the author of the Book of Job meant when he exclaimed, “Through my body, I vision God”.

Sex implies human rights in another crucial way as well. The radical pleasure and beauty of throbbing phallus and dripping yoni are democratized pleasures. These erotic capacities are not limited to the wealthy or the aristocratic. Every human being is personally addressed by an intensity of pleasure which cries out in affirmation of our infinite worth and dignity. The bill of rights is encrypted in the goodness of sexual pleasure. The democratization of dignity has its source in the democratization of desire. But like all that is democratized, sex can be degraded and taken for granted. To access the radical affirmation of human rights implicit in the texts of sex, wisdom and training are required — rigorous training and practiced attention to become a good citizen in the sexual polis. But with that training, it starts to become self-evident that the precepts of ethics are engraved in our flesh. That is precisely the new sexual ethos. Sex is the seat of all wisdom. It is not merely that we need sexual ethics, but rather that sex is ethics.

Sex is Ethics is one of the first principles of what we have called Cosmo-Erotic Humanism.

In Cosmo Erotic Humanism we recognize that reality is Eros, all the way up and all the way down.

We realize that we live in a Cosmo Erotic universe.

We realize that the Cosmo-erotic universe lives in us.

And we realize that Eros is the source of all ethics, that the Erotic and the Ethical are one. We understand that all breakdowns in Ethics are rooted in a prior collapse of Eros.