I Want to Masturbate For You on Camera

One of these days I’ll get frisky for posterity’s sake, I promise…

Meaghan Ward
Jun 10 · 5 min read
Photo by We-Vibe WOW Tech on Unsplash

Last night, my partner was looking damn fine and feeling in a sort of way, so when he sent me a sexy picture of him in bed, clearly I asked for more.

He did not disappoint, but those pictures got my wheels turning and juices flowing, so to speak, and I thought, hm, I’ll add one of these to my “Hidden” folder on my phone…

So of course, that brought me into my Hidden folder and into the collection of sexy photos — but mostly elaborate videos of him jerking off for me and the camera.

I messaged him:

It’s been 76 days since you’ve sent me any porn 😢”

“What would you like to see??” was his immediate response.

I thought about it for a couple of minutes (maybe longer than he wanted me to, heh), but I didn’t want to squander the opportunity.

One of my favorite videos is of him jerking off is one where he’s laying down on his back, the camera propped somewhere on his chest looking down at his cock as he strokes it and whispers some dead sexy stuff into the phone, cum spurting up in the air and pouring over his hand…

Another favorite is a four minute long affair that involves him slowly, teasingly stripping off his clothes, rubbing his hands over his body, gently playing with himself before he really gets down to business and explodes, close up, into the camera.

What did I want if I could have anything?

I finally settled on it, you could say, cause I wanted everything at once, every scenario imaginable that ran through my head I wanted to see him enact, but for the moment, I could only choose one…

A little while later the video popped up on my phone, and there he was:

Naked on the edge of his bed, cock in hand, which I love seeing because I can imagine that it’s my hand, jerking at it fast, his face a mask of concentration looking at me and then up at the ceiling and back again, and this goes on for a while until he squats down and his hand wraps around his cock in that way it does when I know he’s going to cum, and then it shoots out of him, his face relaxes and then he lets go, letting his cock bounce in the air with cum dripping off his tip that I wish I could just lick away…

Gif from Giphy

I gave him a round of applause for that one, and was only slightly put out that he wanted to call me right after his performance… where was my chance to get off?, I thought, sitting there in my soaked panties.

But in those minutes before he called, I thought to myself how very lucky I was that he would just give me these videos, all the time, whenever I asked for them apparently, without ever assuming or expecting that he would get anything back from me, because I haven’t been a good girlfriend, I haven’t returned the favor.

Masturbation has generally been a solo thing for me.

I mean, it is by definition a solo kind of sex, but there have been a couple of times where I’ve engaged in mutual masturbation with a trusted partner.

That was scary, it was vulnerable, it was exciting… and though I often find myself touching myself when I’m making out with my partner (if his fingers aren’t already playing with my pussy, that is), I don’t make it a show for him.

Maybe I should, maybe it’s time.

The slightly annoying thing for me in this situation is that I get off best riding a pile of pillows with a toy in me, and I can’t imagine that’s the most aesthetically pleasing way to watch someone masturbate.

I’ve spent a lot of time watching lesbian porn, and I know what I like, personally.

I like videos where you can see a woman’s whole body, where you can see her breasts, see her playing with them a little bit hopefully, where her legs are spread and you can see her fingers moving through her wet pussy, and certainly, give me the squirters…

But I can’t see myself masturbating for someone else like that, not on camera.

Maybe in person, because I kind of love the way my partner looks at me when I’m naked, like he actually really wants me, but on camera? When I have to worry about angles and lighting and fat rolls and…fat rolls…

No, I don’t get as excited about filming it as I would doing it in person.

But one of these days, I will.

One of these days I’ll spend some time watching videos of you getting off, and I’ll slip my hand into my wet panties and start rubbing myself until I get really excited, too.

I’ll take off my clothes, find a place to position the camera, maybe somewhere between my legs, so you can see my pussy, up my body and to my face, the way I like to see you most of the time.

I’ll use my fingers to rub myself the way I want you to be rubbing me, and I’ll imagine it’s your fingers and not mine playing in me.

I’ll use another hand to play with my nipples. I’ll lick my fingers first, getting them nice and slick before I twist and pull and them, pinching hard at times,, the way I like it, the way that sends little zings of pleasure all the way down to my pussy every time.

But I don’t know if I can get off this way, just using my fingers, under pressure in front of a camera.

Maybe I’ll bring out one of my favorite toys, slide it in pretending it’s you, showing you how deep I can take it, letting it play against my clit until I cum for you.

Maybe, just maaaybe, I’ll get off the way I get off the most, as awkward as that may be to film.

Maybe I’ll let you decide what you want to see, maybe I’ll give you the choice like you give me the choice and hopefully you’ll get what you asked for.

Certainly, I want to please you as much as you please me.

I need to put my insecurities aside and spend some time playing with my camera angles.

But now I’m going to go enjoy some of those videos again while I have the chance…


Stories on sex and sexuality by Meaghan Ward

Meaghan Ward

Written by

I’m the girl your parents warned you about. Stay in touch: http://meaghanward.substack.com + http://meaghanward.com


Stories on sex and sexuality by Meaghan Ward

Meaghan Ward

Written by

I’m the girl your parents warned you about. Stay in touch: http://meaghanward.substack.com + http://meaghanward.com


Stories on sex and sexuality by Meaghan Ward

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