5 reasons why you shouldn’t follow my IG

This is the best picture you’ll come across today. Guess who clicked it. Also, you didn’t know it was the best pic of the day until i told you so.

Let’s drag to the point, shall we? Points to be precise.

• There are lot of accounts that are a must-follow on Instagram. Each one of them have something special, if not unique, about their exhibition. Some are very creative in terms of the pictures shot, some share amazing art work, some remind us why design matters, some share images that make us hungry, some are simply great at positioning, some are funny, some mindfellatioingly stylish, the list goes on. But very few, if not none, of them are random. They have a set tone and they adhere to it. As far as my IG feed goes, you can’t expect anything at all. Randomness rules in my case. One day, you’ll see a bunch of cows and another, a shot of grey sky and the day after that, a picture of my fingernails. There’s no theme as such. On top of that, my phone camera sucks. What you see is what you deserve.
• If a picture is worth a thousand words, then a picture on IG is worth a million hashtags. Unless we are talking about my account. You won’t find a single # there. In fact, the only thing you’ll find below a posted pic is a one-word caption. I click like a blind man and later describe it like a deaf woman. Little to no time and space left for typing 3500-worder essay on what those stupid pictures mean to my miserable life. Apologies. Having said that, it’s very difficult to gain klout on IG without hashtags. They are your passport to spreading your photography skills — or the lack of it — to a wider audiences. I chose not to use them because i’m not fond of them. Just putting the plain in explanation.
• You hear a lot of bullcrap about editing in photography. By the time, the given picture is ‘finished’, it stops resembling anything close to reality. And when i say reality, i’m referring to the 576 megapixels that our naked eyes are capable of programming. Although i love cinema and i understand the importance of picture processing, i find a lot of budding/wannabe young photographers on IG giving in to technology to such an extent that their work comes across as didactic. No wonder photography fraud is on a rise with even the biggies manipulating their work. For what they are worth, my photos are more grounded than indentured labourers in British Raj. The closest i get to a touch-up are the four filters i use on IG from time to time. You see, randomness has to be complemented by rawness. Or else, it’s utter travesty.
• People love conversing under a picture as if it’s a mistletoe. Oops. Not under my watch. Hardly anyone bothers to comment on my pictures, except the few who like to suggest better one-word captions (which most of them do, actually). Apart from them, there is nothing of public value going on on my feed. Aam janta sees, ignores, scrolls and moves the fuck on. Just like the way i like it. Minimum chat. Maximum <insert one-word that rhymes with chat but means the exact opposite>.
• I don’t have a fifth reason for you. Just wanted to waste your time.