A beginning of the end

Dammit, i missed the doomsday once again. Fuck my life. I don’t know how but i somehow manage to do it every single time there’s an apocalypse alarm. Without fail, i sleep through it and wake up fresher than a lotus. It’s almost like a gift. Or maybe it’s not me. Our species is indeed blessed with the talent to survive a non-existent closure. Just to keep up with the flow, let’s not give any credit to Mayans here. They were just messing around with their mumbo-jumbo from the very beginning. Moreover, unlike Indians, they didn’t have an Aryabhatta or a Brahmagupta to do the calculations for them. In plain words, they sucked at math. So I’m not at all surprised by what happened the day before yesterday, yesterday, today and what’s going to happen after today. The verdict is out: We are meant to suffer longer. Mother Nature is not going to put us out of our misery anytime soon. She’s planning the most expensive special-effects movie ever made and she might ask Peter Jackson for assistance. The rest of us are on our own now. And going by the chronological iniquities, we haven’t fully paid the price for our so-called intelligent brain. Speaking of which, has anybody seen that prophetic calendar yet? Does it have half-naked models on it? Yes? Bazinga! Does it have the-turbulent-end-of-Vijay Mallya scribbled anywhere? No? OK.