Being petty and painful
Within a year or two of your marriage, your (and your significant other’s) parents will expect you to add a name to the ration card. They do so because they are concerned about you and they want you to live in the future, not the present — the way they did. Once you have a kid, you are invested in tomorrow. Being hopeful then becomes a part of your personality. Deep inside, you might be going through existential crisis but for your child’s sake, you want the world to sort out of its shit. As far as grandparents are concerned, they want grandkids as a second trial at parenthood. And when you don’t fulfill their wish, you make them lonelier than they are used to. In a textbook cartoon, grandparents want grandkids to play with them but on zooming out, you’ll realize that they want them for you: they don’t want you to be lonely tomorrow. Of course, their selfishness can’t be factored out so easily: without the kids, they are like pilots without a plane. They’ve learnt all the skills but what’s the point when they can’t put them to use?
According to a recent study, we hear about 200 lies a day. Isn’t that an astounding figure? We can expect the brands to lie to us because they have something to sell but what about real people? Their lies matter. In fact, much more than their truths. I don’t know about you but I avoid lying as much as possible. In my teens and 20s, I cared about people’s feelings a lot and lied a lot. As of now, not many expect me to cushion the blow. If your breath stinks, I will let you know. At the same time, I’d expect you to remind me that I walk slouched like Bojack. However, I’d rather maintain silence than say what I don’t want to. Maybe we should all listen to Facebook and express what’s really on our minds. This way, we can bring the number down to 180. Honestly speaking.
The subject of friendship can’t possibly fall under one category. Although science doesn’t really want to dwell on it as a separate field, it has to be the most powerful incident. In my opinion and experience, it is, like most epidemics, everywhere. You scratch the surface and you’ll find it there. You might even like that colleague you couldn’t stand for months by a sheer stroke of event; one incident and your entire vault of presumptions goes topsy-turvy. Beyond words, beyond explanation. Sometimes, we think we are in like with XYZ only to conclude later how ridiculously naive our attraction was. We painted an image and fell in love with that image; that person is nowhere close to your painting. Between these extremes, we tread carefully because we want to be sure. Our insecurities don’t let us take a flight of faith. Our budget on trust is low and we are reduced to asking a simple question: are you afraid of falling in friendship with me or are you afraid of me falling in friendship with you?
There is no such thing as an overdose of feminism, at least in practical terms. Set against the number of centuries men ruled the planet and got away with it, it’s only fair that women get their turn. In other words, men had their chance and they blew it. Women should take over the mantle and show us the way ahead. The climate is changing, economies are falling apart, music is turning more electronic than Sony, memes are becoming biblically lame and let’s not even get into politics. A mild way of saying things are bad is, things are only going to get better, based on the probability that it can’t get worse. We need more female voices now more than ever. Moreover, we need all voices that were suppressed for the longest time: the “other”, which encompases everyone from the homosexual to the transgender to the disabled to the wrinkled. Perhaps, we’d be able to be optimistic without a heavy feeling of incompletion.
People go through fun phases in life. Poetry. Dance. Calligraphy. Music. I am going through a root canal. It’s been over a week now and I’ve mostly suffered pain (it’s an ongoing process). It started with an anaesthesia shot in the gums which couldn’t stop me from feeling piercing jabs in the tooth base with a drill machine. Since then, I’ve hardly slept well and also lost 2+ kg within a week. I used to be afraid of nights thanks to my sleep issues. Nowadays, I am scared of food. I chew slower than a sloth lest I end up incurring the wrath of the new filling. If you thought right wingers are sensitive on social media, my dental candidate can give them a run for their IT cell. And I haven’t even gotten the crown yet. That must happen next week but not without some shocks and scandals. My dentist quoted 8000 bucks. 8000 BUCKS FOR A CROWN! WHAT IS IT? MY CORONATION?
Did you know when you ingest too many antibiotics, you’ll get blisters under your tongue? Me neither. This past week has been marked by apple-red blisters (one is left as of now; love can happen anytime, you see?) and the resounding agony they bring. And to add to the party, there was sore tonsils and a nagging headache — an orgy of pain, if you will. Last time, right after my wisdom tooth extraction, I wrote a lousy poem for my readers (whoever you are) but this time, I couldn’t. Poetry refused to spring out of toothache.
I am in pain, a lot of pain
I hope you are too
I am being petty
And I am ashamed
Of the fact that you are fine
When you should have been in pain.
Your health is the most precious responsibility you carry. Without it, you will wander from one broken promise to another. Right from my childhood days, I’ve enjoyed this habit of dreaming about all the things I’ll do once I get better. For instance, amid my current state of distress, I can’t wait to get serious about leading a fruitful life involving healthy food, timely workouts and extracurricular stuff. When everything we do is connected to our well-being, maybe it’s a nice idea to keep a tag. The one problem here could be the usual plot twist: I will go back to my old careless ways.
Every city will give you more than it will take from you. And therein lies the true beauty of a place where people from different histories and geographies mingle. But Gurgaon has been an exception for me: this city has taken more from me than it has given me back. To be brutally frank, I can’t wait to quit this wannabe city. Maybe it’s the antibiotics and painkillers talking but it’s amazing how much your location can make a difference to your peace of mind and body.
Speaking of cities, Mumbai and Gurgaon are very different except for one area of specialization: young women won’t give up their seats for older ladies. Obviously, we are talking about general compartments here, and I’ve noticed this intriguing behavior on regular intervals with striking similarities. Chances are some guy will give up his seat while the young lady will keep looking at the old woman while staying glued to her ‘reserved’ seat — quite qualmlessly.
We, as a country, celebrate too soon and discredit sooner. Gully Boy (2019) has been selected as our official entry to Best Foreign Language Film and going by the reactions on social media, you’ll think it has already gotten the golden statuette. It is in a long race and it will require marketing acumen more than anything else to make it to the final 10 shortlist. The race doesn’t end there: Out of those 10, five will be the actual contenders for the big prize. I remember being shocked when The Lunchbox (2013) was overlooked for a lesser known film. With Gully Boy, the chances of making it is much higher — thanks to the big names attached to the project — but only time will tell whether apna time aaya ki nahi.
You can accuse me of a lot of things but tardiness is not one of them. My punctuality continues to pledge for me. I started working right after quitting college and it’s been 13 years since, and not once has anybody at the workplace pointed a finger at their watch for me. I owe my punctuality to childhood friend Vinod’s father. He told me back when I was in 8th standard that he always reaches office before time so that he can leave before time with dignity. That line stuck with me for good.
Whenever people around me ask me who my favourite (active) actors are, I go for the usual suspects: Robert De Niro, Meryl Streep, Nawazuddin, Anupam Kher, Tabu, Vidya Balan, etc. From this week onwards, I am going to include Ben Whishaw. After watching his impeccable work in two British series, The Hour (2011–12) and A Very English Scandal (2019), I can safely vouch for his genius. I stumbled upon him in Bright Star (2009) where he essayed the terminally ill John Keats. Later, he went on to become the youngest person, at the age of 32, to portray Q in the Bond franchise. He is certainly one of the finest actors in the world right now.
