Disadvantaged lot, us
You take your dog for a walk and he makes at least 10 stops in the daily route. You adore your dog so you don’t object and let him do his business. After all, it’s his me time. Turns out his business is not restricted to relieving himself alone. He’s got nuggets to exchange with fellowmen—more significantly, fellowwomen — with every little pee he squirts on the trees or the lampposts. He’s leaving information behind for others to check out. It’s like dropping blank messages en masse. With one sniff, he gets to know the gender, age, health report and worldly needs of whoever left him a message before he arrived at the designated point. There is little to no noise involved in this complex exchange of information. Compared to them, our phone’s constant notifications (ping!) are exceedingly annoying.
Oh wait, there is noise involved when a dog is chasing a car. For bystanders, the four-legged romeo is being irrational by going for something it can’t use. Unless they wrap their head around the likelihood that the dog might be smelling something human nose possibly can’t. Maybe the tyres have confusing messages sprayed on them and our canine hero is merely following the trail. Imagine how you’d feel if you received a text on WhatsApp before a robber grabbed your phone and ran away just when you were about to read it.
Not exactly the best analogy but you get the idea.
Various animals have various modus operandi when it comes to communication with their species. Quite a lot of them make occasional noise, yes, but not without a specific purpose. Unlike us. For example, that lovely bird is not singing, it’s hopelessly crying for someone to mate with him. Similarly, animals have developed senses for exchanging information, which isn’t restricted to vocal chords. How the battalion of wildebeest move across the swathes of Africa without trampling anybody is the kind of stuff Kumbh Mela can learn something from. Quite a lot of these so-called wild creatures depend heavily on their nose. In fact, it’s ludicrous how poor our sense of smell is. We can’t figure out who farted in the car. That’s how shoddy this bulgy thing on our face is. If it weren’t for the evolutionary blessings, we’d have wiped out aeons ago.
Maybe.
Maybe not.
It’s very funny though if you think about it.
Physically speaking, our disadvantages reach the zenith of pity. A donkey can effectively kill us with its kick. One lousy stat even suggests that more people die because of furious donkeys than due to plane crash. Despite such unimpressive contours, we’ve come a long way. The mighty whales and squids don’t bother us at ocean anymore. We are ruling (i.e. destroying) this planet the way even God can’t. However, left to our devices, we can barely protect ourselves in the jungle. Forget defence, our very birth system is a farce. We are the only mammal who can’t say for sure when a female is ovulating. Our attempts at procreation is fundamentally a game of roulette. Similarly, we will never know who is hard or wet for whom. Since we spend a major part of our time in office, it’s worth wondering which of your colleagues have touched themselves thinking about you and vice versa. At the end of the day, it’d be a guess game. There is no specific trait or fragrance to know what went on in the nether region. Whereas a dog can get all the necessary data by simply sniffing his counterpart’s ass.
How’s that for Tinder?
