Eponymous much?

I don’t know who you are or where you stay but if you are expecting a baby, chances are i’ll find you and beg you to name your child after me. Yes, i’m weird and have a penchant for posterity. Well, this was supposed to be a 2011 joke but it isn’t. I’ve tried it with so many people by now that it has turned into a blaring reality. Sadly, my pitch’s conversion rate remains at a humble zero. The only reason i’m on Facebook is to check on my school friends who are having a family of their own. But no luck there. They say people on Facebook are dumb and those on Twitter, smart. Guess what? You are mistaken. After all, nobody has bought into my plea yet. Or maybe i’m a terrible salesman. My partner’s sister happens to be my latest victim. I sweet-talked her into saying “I’ll think about it” while we both know she won’t name her firstborn after me. This, despite the fact that my name is unisex and is gentle on tongue. People assume that it’s a common name when it isn’t. Just because it’s one of the most popular words (Rin Shakti, Shiv Shakti, Shakti Bhog, Vanish Shakti, Milk Shakti, Shakti Prash…and it goes on and on) in the country irrespective of whether you are from north or south, people think it’d sound lame on a child. Look at me. I turned out fine if you overlook my emotional problems. To make my pitch stronger, in my entire life, i’ve come across only two people with my name. One of them is from Zomato. Lastly, i think you should TOTALLY name your offspring after me. In 2030, if somebody asks you the reason why you did so, just say “it sounds powerful”.

PS: There are (few) downsides too.