Gurgaon diaries

I’m not a critical expert on cities. It was only after working with mid-day that i learnt what Mumbai was all about. Before that, i was just a simpleton Mumbaikar nostalgic about a Bombay that wasn’t mine. It was only during my days as a journalist i saw how a city behaves just like a person. Some days are good for it. Somedays, not so. A city develops its character by the people who build it. Mumbai, as we know it today, was built by immigrants. Delhi was built by refugees; people anxious to have a place they can call home. Who built Gurgaon? However, i’ve been here for almost a year now and i’ve noticed certain undeniable observations here. Listing some of them out with no malice towards those who are capable of looking at the cheerful side…

• Gurgaon looks like a city waking up from a terrible dream.
• The dust never settles for less here.
• Everybody’s in a hurry. Haryana explained.
• What happens in Gurgaon strays in Gurgaon.
• It’s boiling during summers with nobody to turn off the sun.
• That’s also when most of my aspirations got roasted!
• On the brighter side, the sun doesn’t set us on fire when it’s fully capable of doing so.
• Going by the earthquakes, dust storms, unseasonal rains and warm winters, Gurgaon is yet to come to terms with my presence here.
• This city is the perfect mix of unsettling dust, filthy pigs, sweltering summer, rude autowallahs, bored cows, corporate residents and farce.
• Love is like the Gurgaon summer. No, wait. Forget it.
• Thanks to G-spot (that’s my nickname for Gurgaon), i’m a wildweather photographer now.
• Gurgaon didn’t go to the pigs. It went to the people. Pigs were here first.
• “Bhaisaab, aapka Gurgaon dick raha hai.”
• It takes 3cm of rain for this city to flood.
• Dusty. Dustier. Gurgaon.
• In Gurgaon, it either rains like dogs and pigs or it doesn’t.
• Mumbai mein rehne ke baad sabhi sheher gaon lagne lag jaate hai.
• Completing half a year in Gurgaon today. That’s like a lifetime of dust in Bombay.
• Baarish mein maloom lagta hai ki Gurgaon kitne paani mein hai.
• After moving north to Gurgaon, i’ve developed a healthy respect for junk food.
• Gurgaon is not THAT bad. Just makes Delhi look better.
• Zuckerberg hosted FB Townhall Q&A (Oct’) and DiCaprio filmed his documentary (Nov’) in Delhi. Gurgaon was dusty as usual.
• When in Rome, be a Roman. When in Gurgaon, honk.
• The greatest difference between Bombay and Gurgaon is people from the former won’t give you wrong directions just to entertain their ego.
• Mumbai has sea. Gurgaon will never have a sea. Gurgaon: burn Mumbai: won
• During winter, it’s pitch black even before the clock hits 6.
• Went home for Diwali and came back here to shoot Interstellar part 2.
• As a social experiment, go to any supermarket in Gurgaon and scream “Hey, asshole!” and count the no. of heads that turn. They cut queues.
• So used to the contaminated air in Gurgaon that i might fall sick in a cleaner city.
• Before Christmas, the correct reply to “how are you?” was “freezing”.
• Why are ALL the cars dented in Gurgaon?
• It was only after watching Everest (2015) that i realized Gurgaon isn’t THAT cold.
• Not a day goes by here i don’t see a moron driving while talking on phone.
• The class discrimination prevalent in Gurgaon is as feudal as it can get in the 21st century. Maid in India, anyone?
• Gurgaon tries way too hard to be a city.
• Lastly, i haven’t been molested even once despite being so damn pretty.