Highs and sighs
We live in an extreme world. There are really good people around us and then there are extremely nasty ones too. There are very interesting souls and then there are soul-sappingly boring mammals too. We simply tick some categories while leaving some blank. The balance between the extremes must ultimately lead to the spinning of our globe. At least that’s what I like to believe. Without a random mix of events and incidents, we won’t have a nice story to share. And in this spirit, over the years, I’ve composed and compiled a series of straight-faced questions and humour-dipped answers. See if makes sense to you. But before you get into this, let’s not forget that we are afraid of the fall, not height.
Q: What’s the height of kleptomania?
A: Stealing someone else’s thunder.
Q: What’s the height of Instagram?
A: Getting killed in an accident but leaving behind photogenic pics.
Q: What’s the height of genocide?
A: Killing all your dreams.
Q: What’s the height of blindness?
A: Poking your own finger into your own eye.
Q: What’s the height of paranormal activity?
A: Breathing.
Q: What’s the height of fear?
A: Being scared of oneself.
Q: What’s the height of groupism?
A: WhatsApp.
Q: What’s the height of déjà vu?
A: Spending your time doing exactly the same thing you did yesterday and the day before.
Q: What’s the height of consumerism?
A: “I don’t know what that is but I want it.”
Q: What’s the height of moving on?
A: Reincarnation.
Q: What’s the height of confidence?
A: Not committing mistakes lest you’ll have to learn from them later.
Q: What’s the height of optimism?
A: Knowing your suicide attempt won’t succeed.
Q: What’s the height of generalization?
A: Democracy.
Q: What’s the height of coincidence?
A: Learning that your Internet provider stammers.
Q: What’s the height of badassery?
A: Not showing up at your funeral.
Q: What’s the height of metaphor?
A: Practising whataboutery but being allergic to poetry.
Q: What’s the height of success?
A: Staying alive.
Q: What’s the height of procrastination?
A: When you decide to predict the future later.
Q: What’s the height of stalking?
A: Planet Earth series.
Q: What’s the height of ghar wapsi?
A: Mosquitoes returning home at sunset.
Q: What’s the height of invisibility?
A: Two morons arguing about the existence of God and gods.
Q: What’s the height of democracy?
A: Believing in gods instead of just God.
Q: What’s the height of full circle?
A: Taking birth as an accident and then dying in an accident too.
Q: What’s the height of anagram?
A: Noticing there is jihad in jai hind.
Q: What’s the height of Twitter?
A: Muting @jack.
Q: What’s the height of oxymoron?
A: Permanent address.
Q: What’s the height of addiction?
A: Oxygen.
Q: What’s the height of compromise?
A: Veg biryani.
Q: What’s the height of loneliness?
A: When you crack a joke but nobody gets it.
Q: What’s the height of luck?
A: Finding somebody equally passionate about something as you are.
Q: What’s the height of laziness?
A: Not climbing Mt. Everest.
Q: What’s the height of delusion?
A: Nothing.
