Never say ever

When is it going to end? A question everybody must be familiar with by now. It’s that sentence you use when things aren’t going your way; when you’re on the verge of giving up. You’ll never string together those words while experiencing a good run. Nobody wants to deflate the balloon of luck. But what if it — whatever it is — never really ends? What if it just stops for a while only to return later in a similar or a totally different form? Like a season or the tide or the routes of the migratory birds or the decline of health. Everything is fixed; just the characters change. The pollen spreads and so does the ocean. Time rules. Of course, there is no fixed pattern to my random theory but think about it. Don’t we return to how we feel again and again after a periodic break? Somebody says something out of the blue to you in the workplace and it triggers in you an avalanche of chemicals that takes you back in history to your school days when somebody said something similar. The difference being you can’t really place the whole conversation from your past anymore; you only know for sure that the resulting emotions in you are the same. The closest you got to a time machine without you even knowing when you agreed for the ride. We spend our time believing that we are up to something when in reality, we are only killing time hoping strongly that time doesn’t return the favour. All the incidents that happened to you appear markedly separate but they are connected because of you. And most importantly, because of how you felt. It could be anything from love to hatred to joy to indifference to lethargy to etc. The point is we are running around in circles, doing the same things again and again and again without realizing how. For example, you are worried that your favourite football club might not win the league this season. But then, it’s not the last league ever. And even if it were, would anything matter? Whoever wins or loses this season, the league is going to restart again next season as if nothing happened the previous season. It’s almost like a gentle reminder that things repeat because we secretly want them to. An eternal quest to improve, if not improvise. However, every opportunity you get is your second chance not because your memory is a trickster but because it’s never going to end whether you are alive or dead and whether you are on a good run or bad.