Oh, God!
Published in
2 min readJun 4, 2014
- “Who was Jesus Christ trying to impress?” — questions you aren’t supposed to ask
- Jesus was an underpaid carpenter and a closet wine connoisseur.
- “Thanks so much y’all but it ain’t my birthday.” — Jesus on Christmas
- Moses simply changed the course of a river. Jesus changed the course of human history.
- Jesus is my second favouritest superhero. After Mowgli.
- tattoos: all JC ever asked for
- “Let him sans sin cast the first couch.” — Jesus to Bollywood filmmakers
- Marcus Schenkenberg is widely believed to be the world’s first male supermodel. Jesus disagrees though.
- There’s a reason why “Oh Jesus” played a significant part in the rise of porn industry.
- As attached to your mother as Jesus was to his cross.
- “He’s grossly underfollowed.” — a tweep on Jesus, before his resurrection
- Jesus can’t possibly love us more than Santa Claus.
- Zuckerberg may have about a billion ‘friends’ on FB but Jesus still remains the most befriended Jew of all time.
- JC, help me find my soulmate first. You can save my soul later.
- I started believing in Jesse after he made Jim Caviezel act in The Passion of the Christ.
- “Jesus asks us to follow him but would he follow us back?” — Doubting Thomas, before he got blocked
- They crucified Jesus because he refused to work for Ikea, right?
- “We are only as unforgettable as our last supper.” — Jesus
- When it comes to welfare, Jesus is the government’s ultimate dole model.
- “I missed the 27 Club by just six years. Damn.” — Jesus
- Jesus walked on water before walking into a bar mitzvah. Oops!
- Not a day goes by i don’t think of JC and how his fabulous abs went to waste.
- I’ve got nothing against Jesus. Even if he hates me, i wholeheartedly forgive him.
