Our city, my life!

Mumbai is the awesomest city in our country, especially when the sun sets and the people refuse to go to sleep.

The media keeps talking about Mumbai’s spirit. Especially during tragedies. A bomb blast here or a falling bridge there. But nobody really knows what Mumbai’s spirit is all about. It’s like the word ‘rehabilitation’ in that epic movie called The Shawshank Redemption. Nobody really knows what they are talking about. Unless someone with a voice like Morgan Freeman’s tells you what it really means.

Here’s a lowdown (in Naseeruddin Shah’s voice, if you may) on what Mumbai’s spirit actually stands for and how Mumbaikars inadvertently exude it in their daily life. These are just some of the many instances…

• When an overpacked train arrives at Kurla station, some poor souls alight demoting it from its overpacked to packed status. And amid this spatial trauma, somebody standing next to you on the platform says, “Yaar, andar jagah hai!”
• When your mother doesn’t speak Marathi and your neighbour doesn’t speak Hindi. But that doesn’t stop them from gossiping.
• When it’s hot like hell outside and still there’s no place to stretch your limbs out.
• When vada-pav replaces a meal.
• When commuters quarrel for the imaginary fourth seat.
• When the potholes speak for themselves and Delhi rolls on the road laughing.
• When Mumbaikars read about rapes in the Capital and angry silence follows.
• When it’s too late to let others down and too early to give up.
• When people fight on the street and more people gather around them because everybody can afford to miss their schedule but nobody wants to miss on live action.
• When couples (both married as well as unmarried) realize that the world is basically turning into Taliban.
• When Bollywood is considered as a compliment, not a derogatory term.
• When the migrant in you doesn’t feel lost. At all.
• When you unequivocally acknowledge Parsis’ benevolence.
• When you have no clue who the Baghdadi Jews were or what their contribution to our city is.
• When somebody asks you “Where are you from?” and you say “Bombay” as the question wasn’t “Where are you to?”.
• When you cross track because time is more precious than life.
• When a person falls from a bus and your humanity runs towards him/her.
• When the rent is too high and your gumption, too low.
• When you have a problem with Big B being a farmer in UP but no problem whatsoever with him endorsing Gujarat tourism.
• When you haven’t attended your school reunion nor your school friends’ wedding.
• When you wave your hand at the bus even though it’s going to stop at the bus stop.
• When you wave your hand at the approaching train because habits are habits.
• When you won’t get a house for rent if you don’t follow the same religion the housing society does or come from the same region the housing society does.
• When you get down from the plane and you know this is where home is.
• When Sanjay Dutt is the only reminder of the ’93 bomb blasts.
• When chasing local trains is the only form of exercise you get. And you don’t wish to miss it.
• When you respect the three defense forces but don’t give a shit about the police force or the traffic policemen although these underpaid ‘corrupt’ people ultimately serve us more.
• When the heavy rain makes a guy offer to share his umbrella with you. And you’re not a pretty girl.
• When your Tamil colleague is celebrating Mumbai Indians’s win against Chennai Super Kings.
• When you’ve made peace with the pace of life in this devilfostered place.
• When a Maharashtrian knows there were six Marathi films releasing on a Friday (like it happened on April 19) and still opt for that one Hindi film (Ek Thi Daayan in this case).
• When you wonder why people in SoBo are fairer than you are. Also, you thank god for making them cloth-intolerant.
• When Navi Mumbai is that fancy place with a lot more space than it actually has.
• When you know Gateway of India but you don’t know that the last unit of British Army walked through it, making us truly independent.
• When the college students believe more in being socially cool than in being politically active.
• When you don’t bother to know who the corporator is but you’re damn convinced that s/he is not worth voting for.
• When the city is crumbling and you’re essentially busy doing nothing.