So?
According to a zen legend, Buddha was once walking down the street along with his disciples. Some agitated chap showed out of nowhere and started abusing him. He called the enlightened one all kinds of names. Buddha kept on walking while his disciples stared at the abusive person as they passed by. After covering some distance, while still walking, one disciple couldn’t help but ask his master why he didn’t react at all. Buddha apparently said something incredibly awesome. According to him, if somebody offers you something and you refuse it, then that something remains with the offerer. Unless the offeree accepts it, this deadlock won’t change. Precisely why whatever that abusive man spewed, it remained with him, because Buddha refused to accept any of those words. Hence there was no reaction whatsoever.
I read this story a long time ago when I wouldn’t even realize the significance of patience. Yet, I somehow managed to never forget it. The approach advocated by Buddha in this particular scenario applies to a lot of disputes in our society. At times, we give too much importance to words and too little importance to silence. At other times, we give too much importance to silence and too little importance to actions. As individuals, we face a strange dilemma of what to do where and how. Sometimes, we overreact and sometimes, under. Many a times, we miss the truth dancing right in front of our eyes. What can we say? We are idiots.
However, it’d be naive to make everybody walk in everybody else’s shoes to understand what they are going through (or where they are going). We live in the world of probability and estimates. Which is why it’s fair to suggest that humans are stupid by default. An awful lot of our decisions prove detrimental to our own interests. The bar of idiocy is raised a notch higher when the so-called educated/literate — there is a massive difference between these two words and if you thought they meant the same, you must be literate—folks enter the picture.
There is no denying that the world at large is in a hurry to move north of poverty. Compared to 1917, there are fewer wars, famines, fatalities due to diseases, more kids in schools and such positives happening in 2017. We’ve basically taken a giant leap of science and we are not sure when we’re going to land. What’s interesting about this development is the rise of a class that can not only read and write but also understands the potency of taking offence. In an aggressive pursuit of a popularly-correct/politically-correct society, some of us tend to overstep others’ space of expression. The worst part of this behavior being the sheer hypocrisy in calling oneself the victim while trying hard to impose one’s views on others.
Yes, words can be offensive. Words can be abusive too. But the distinction of offense and non-offence or abuse and non-abuse is best maintained between two individuals, instead of an individual against a group or vice versa. You can’t speak for anybody else except yourself. And nowadays, you observe a lot of individuals who take it upon themselves to represent others with or without their consent. A self-appointment of the highest order. Modus operandi: Misappropriation of hurt followed by amelioration of narrative by those who had nothing to do with offence. By the end of the noise, more often than not, barely a substantial inch is achieved. The only admirable upside to these conundrums are the endless discussions on a topic that doesn’t even deserve to be discussed.
What matters in matters of verbal offence is the intent and nothing else. Unfortunately, we don’t have the patience to keep walking or stop to ask ourselves a few unassailable questions. Questions like “Do I really need to accept what doesn’t belong to me?”
