The final decision
“Is the water too cold?”
“Must be freezing. I am sure.”
“Whose stupid idea was this?”
“I am frozen already.”
“WTF!”
“A lot of people do this. Not a big deal. Smoothest way to go.”
“Has the temp dropped suddenly? Why am I feeling so chilly?”
“Calm down.”
“Not a big deal. Won’t take more than a minute.”
“Can’t be more than 50 meters.”
“Doesn’t matter.”
“I won’t even feel anything. Nobody does.”
“Wait. What if I do? Remember what Jack Dawson said about icy water?”
“Damn.”
“There’s no point in breathing. I am stealing oxygen from those who deserve it more.”
“I wish I was a fish.”
“I look like a fish.”
“Enough. Enough. Enough. Enough. Enough. Enough.”
“Is there an easier way to leave? Lord!”
“I need to finish it. I can’t go on like this.”
“If only I knew how not to swim!”
“Why this overthinking all of a sudden? Didn’t I go through this at my apartment?”
“WTF!”
“Let’s hope it doesn’t come to me screaming for help. That’d be terrible. Imagine failing at even killing yourself. What kind of a loser does that?”
“Ssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.”
“No more thinking. No more thinking.”
“Just do it.”
“Get on the railing, girl. You can do this.”
“No mess. No mess. No mess.”
“Nobody will miss me. No more clumsy moments.”
“No more hiding.”
“This is it. Finally!”
“Glad nobody is around to sabotage my plan…”
The stream of such intermittent yet reassuring thoughts were running one after another through our heroine’s head when they were interrupted by an uninvited sentence: “Isn’t it gorgeous?” The voice belonged to a bearded man who, on turning back, was standing a few yards away from her. Hands pocketed, he was gazing over the bridge at the sea below, not even making eye contact with the woman whose plan he had unintentionally sabotaged.
WTF indeed.
At that moment, she felt like there were only two people left on this planet. Nobody would know why but she took a U-turn on herself and decided to give herself a second chance at life.
“Yes, I love watching it at night,” she replied.
