What’s the greatest question of all?
How you walk says a lot about you. People known for their confidence tend to walk with a flair unbeknownst to the rest of us, their spine in congruence with their mind, and their tongue are slaves to their thoughts. These specimen (and women) might come across a rare breed but in reality, they are only as unique as a cup of tea in Assam. Almost everything that we perceive as perfect today took hours and days of practice. These folks must have stumbled in their wake; they too must have experienced bloopers. But they learned, they persisted. Not very different from a ridiculous free-kick by Messi — what we, the commoners, see is perfection while we completely miss the enormous training and practice he must have had to create that bend.
As a species, we are obsessed with the end. We specifically don’t care about our end but we throw a wider reel over the ending of the world. For some stupid reason, we have equated ourselves with the well-being of the earth (when the exact opposite is true). Back in our school, kids muttered Y2K as if they understood what it portended. 12 years later, we kept twittering about the Mayan calendar. A part of us wanted those savages, and their calculations, to be correct whereas another part of us couldn’t wait for 2012 to fade away as usual. Fast forward seven years and not a week goes by we aren’t entertained by the news as startling and varied as the colossal ice meltdown in the north, freshwater drying up exponentially, world population exploding, an asteroid waiting to hit us in 2036, etc. These are, by all measures, screensavers for something that might never happen, but in their uncertainties, they give us something to hold on to: the knowledge of knowing how we will exit the stage.
According to a wise man who couldn’t talk, sorry is the hardest word to say. Asking for an apology can indeed be taxing, especially when it’s not your fault. A lot of human relationships are based on the depth of our words, so it’s a given that how you say becomes as important as what you say. Sincerity is difficult to tally in silence, no?
If I were to list my favourite 10 most accomplished individuals, over 60% of them must be writers. I simply admire those who can express themselves. They say art is for artists but wouldn’t that be a sign of shortsightedness? Writers, whether they use a pen, typewriter or a laptop, spin yarns in ways most of us can’t. Isn’t that artistic enough? When Rushdie tells you about a fantastical land, you believe in him and walk with him as he delights you from page to another. To extend this logic, this faith in somebody else’s words is the modern foundation of our civilization. Everything worth building — whether it’s a planetarium or a garden — begins with a person who can express the idea in words with utmost clarity. In other words, writing is absolute. Awesome writers, more so.
As you cross the rubicon of 30 and step into a phase where you start counting the number of hours you managed to sleep the previous night, you turn more and more conscious of what you can tolerate and what you can’t. So, on closer inspection, I’ve learnt that I hate a lot of things around me. I stay quiet but I am seething inside; I sit down when I can’t stand what’s happening. For instance, the sun. My worst concern is that yellow (it’s actually white, like all stars are supposed to be) dot which is 8 minutes behind us — visually speaking. In fact, I’d prefer a universe without the sun. Enough of sun-induced headaches, dizziness, fatigue and perspiration. By the way, this realization occurred last Sunday when heavy domestic chores on our terrace ruined my day. Sunshine and sunlight? Thanks but no thanks.
You may not acknowledge it but we are already living in the Woke Age. We’ve come a long way from Stone Age, haven’t we? My favourite era was the Privilege. But before we could learn a bit about our fortunate selves, we are already stepping into wokeness. Doing and thinking the right thing isn’t going to save you anymore. Letting others know will. Welcome to binaries. Goodbye, nuances.
Since we are discussing everything and anything under the sky, why isn’t anyone talking about penis size? We harp about patriarchy and toxic masculinity but are ignoring one of the most serious culprits of our history: a man’s desire to be bigger than he can possibly be. Once we conclude that there is not much to be done about nature — unless we are all Cubans and the government pays for penile enlargement surgeries — we could reach a stage of mature evolution. By overlooking such a natural facet of our biology, we are boosting the mental image perpetuated by porn. It took a long time for us, going by the standards of the Internet Age, to appreciate the importance of mental health. So much so we are finally talking about depression and anxiety. Maybe we might take a bit longer to address a few core masculine issues.
While reading about Alexander the Great, I came across a fabulous line — “When you yourselves are happy!” — presumed to be his last words — and I can’t stop thinking about it. A man of his stature, who conquered almost all the land within his reach and died at the age of 32, had the subject of happiness inside his head while he was on his way out. Wow. Simply wow. Tells you a lot about priorities.
Everyday, we are reading about the decay of democracy and how there is no way it can recover from the ongoing infestation by the right-wing ideologues, and that too in the so-called liberal societies. One theory even went to the extent of speculating how democracy is going to die soon — and I thought I was the one with existential crisis! — leaving us at the mercy of authoritarian figures. Well, going by whatever I little I’ve learned from whatever little I’ve read so far, democracy is not going anywhere. It’s surely evolving because democracy is about people. People aren’t about democracy. Also, a mere hundred years ago, there were global empires ruling the shit of out of us peasants. Today, monarchy is a joke; a remnant of an embarrassing past. Times change and so does our value system. We assume that individuals change faster than the society when the exact opposite is true. Which is also why the experts are already writing invalid obituaries for democracy.
What’s a life with love? Moreover, what’s love without a life of regrets? We all have it. You, me, everyone else who aren’t lucky enough to NOT read this blog post. Regrets groom us as we move from one day to another, one role to another, one characteristic to another. Some of us get better at lying though; we’ll say stuff like “I don’t have regrets.” But we do. It is precisely what’s so fascinating about humankind. None of the other living creatures have the facility to store and maintain regrets. We do. And it has helped us flourish on this miserable planet. So, go ahead, ask yourself the finest question of all time: “What’s my greatest regret?” For the record, mine is stopping at 5 feet 8 inches (like Tom Cruise) instead of 6 feet (like my brother).
