Where are you?
Everybody needs to have a job, paid or unpaid. That’s what the economists say. Without a task to take care of, people tend to pursue sinister designs. The devil conducts evil workshops in a jobless mind. Again, that’s what the economists say. In the capitalistic system we live in, one can’t really argue against these depositions either. Instead of being useful, aimless youth often lead a life hopelessly dependent on others. Without a particular profile to lean on, these individuals lack prospects for a better future. For the last time, that’s what the economists say.
Here’s what i think is going on: I don’t believe it’s about having a job as much as being occupied with something to while away one’s day. Occupation and professionalism don’t always have to be congruent to each other. A creative person — let’s say, a painter — might be occupied with his work but he may not be professional enough with his agencies. So, it’s not entirely about employment. Most of the time, your doubt pertains to greater causes: What do you want to accomplish in your life? Why aren’t you happy then? Where do you see yourself after death because life is a long way from being short? When can you expect to see a change in the way you look at yourself? How do a few manage to break the code while the majority of us stick to the grind? Which direction are we supposed to go in order to avoid tougher questions ahead? And so on…
At this point, the worldists shall point out the magnificence of money and its effective cataclysm in maintaining order. Well, this theory shouldn’t hold water anymore because we’ve understood by now that there’s no limit to lucre. At no point are you going to say “Oh, this is more than enough!” and stop vying for an increase in your income. That’s the real power of money over us.
So, what exactly is it that we desire if it isn’t job or cash? One word. Place. That’s what we seek throughout. A supervisor hopes to be treated like one because it’s impossible for him to scream his hierarchical advantage or monetary conquest all the fucking time. Similarly, an experienced janitor asserts his position by reminding the rookie janitor who has the bigger beak among the two. A Nobel-winning author wouldn’t like to be featured in a BuzzFeed clickbait. On the other hand, a chicklit maven wouldn’t mind falling within the online radar of shorter-than-short attention span. It’s all about place. An imaginary terrace atop which you view the world or at least wish to. Thanks to this mindset, everybody has got themselves in a lame hurry to reach somewhere that exists only inside their cranium. Organizations use the term ‘promotion’ to indicate somebody has taken somebody else’s territory. Many a time, one man’s progress depends on another man’s death. It’s an endless soulless queue.
Speaking of progress, it took a long time for my parents to forgive me for dropping out of engineering. My friends made my life tougher. Their success dwarfed whatever i tried to accomplish and it wasn’t even their fault. The system functions in a certain manner but one thing is for sure: There is a place in there for everyone as long as you choose to be a part of the aforediscussed queue. I remember the heavy days after quitting college and how tense my home used to be. I smelt despair in the air whereas my parents smelt betrayal. To make things worse, i wasn’t even sure what i was up to. Thankfully, i remember what my amma told me in one of the brutal conversations when i told her i’m not meant for electronics and telecom.
We don’t always remember every single word unless it’s on record. But sometimes, the piercing truth of what is being said clicks on a red button in your mind. So, this is what she said, in Tulu of course, “You are wasting a good opportunity here, son. We are not rich and you know that. You’ve got barely two more years to study. You’ll have a fine job and you’ll be able to retire your dad. Not many kids get a free engineering seat in the first place and you’re squandering it away. You’ll regret it tomorrow as you’ll learn that you not only wasted your seat but also some unknown kid’s who could have completed the course. You took his place and you didn’t even bother to appreciate what you got….”
Like i said, it’s all about place. People can fit in or out depending on what one wants to think.
