Who’s counting my sheep?
Genie: “You’ve earned 3 wishes. What do you want?”
Me: “Cool. Let me sleep for as long as i need.”
Genie: “Done. What about the other two?”
Me: “Let them be. This one is enough.”
As far-fetched as this imaginary conversation sounds, there are some of us who’d be happiest to be able to get the rest we desire. Sleep, for reasons unclear, isn’t for everybody. We might be one of those species who spend one-third of its existence asleep but there’s a huge difference between trying to sleep and being passed out. Besides, people like me can’t stay asleep for more than four hours at a stretch during nighttime and diurnal naps never touch the two-hour milestone. On top of that, we wake up super-early on weekends, having retired to bed late hoping to get up straight for lunch. The only consolation in this unfair circus of subconsciousness is the revelation that you aren’t alone; for every Akshar, who doesn’t remember the last dream he saw, there are thousands of tormented souls like me. And possibly, you, the hapless reader of this seminal blather.
We are talking about this today thanks to a recent conversation with a dear friend of mine. She told me that she’s not getting enough sleep thanks to her hectic work schedule. The initial automated response to such an information is the usual: “No big deal.” Almost everybody around us is going through a rough patch. The amount of stress we carry with us fails to undercut the apparent positivity of our bumbling lifestyle.
Plot twist: It is a big freaking deal.
Without getting into the scientific rigmarole, there are plenty of reasons to believe in the necessity of balance. Even if you say that you’re getting only 5 hours of sleep, it doesn’t mean you’re bright as a bulb for the remaining 19 hours. Chances are you’re dipping into reveries, daydreaming during important meetings, behaving like a dopey. There, that’s your mind saying “You’re either with me or against me” to you in Bush’s voice. Without the required balance, we’re basically being oversmart with our bets. It’s not like we’d dazzle by staying awake while others sleep. The problem is deep-rooted and it has nothing to do with (over)ambition.
For instance, you go to bed by 10 and by 10.30, you’re already snoring. Sounds good, right? Well. A good night’s sleep is capable of turning you fresh when you get up in the morning. There’s no point to a sleep pattern punctuated at least thrice or more within one night. You woke up at 2 and then again at 3.08 and then again at 4.35 and then again at 5.23. That’s not sleeping. That’s the equivalent of a slap in very-very-very-very-slow motion. But being a stoic person, you don’t give up either. You don’t touch your phone and continue looking for that perfect position à la Sid in Ice Age (2002). One leg over the other, one leg creating a right angle with the other, knee bent, knees bent, lying sideways on the stomach, lying on whatever-internal-organ-is-on-the-right-side, lying on the back corpsely, manspread hallelujah—you keep searching for that one posture that will let you drop in to the abyss of peace. And once you spot it, you sticking to that position is like the goddess of sleep painting a portrait of yours, expecting you to not move an inch here or there.
Yes, the struggle is real although most of our waking problems are imaginary.
So, if there is a problem, there has to be a solution too. What can help? Cutting down on coffee/tea? Avoiding laptop/smartphone on bed? Eating light for dinner? Walking a mile before calling it a day? Reading a book? Meditation? Isn’t sleeping the deepest form of meditation itself? The doubts are infinitesimally staring at us while we’re struggling to doze off. Sad.
In conclusion, there is not a one-nod-fits-all solution. A safe assumption could be based on the kind of life an individual leads. To each his own snore. It’s a big deal only as long as we don’t accept the burdensome realities of our world. When an autowallah or a cab driver honks, it could be his way of alerting others and by practice, an act of politeness. Maybe, in his head, if he doesn’t honk, he’s being rude by not letting others know that he’s there or planning to overtake them even though you in the backseat notice there’s no need whatsoever for the noise. Maybe, we aren’t sleeping because our mind is busy honking at stuff that don’t need to be honked at.
