Why I say no to alcohol
It’s reasonably easy to be unique nowadays. Just like it’s easier to be awesome too. In fact, everybody is unique as well as awesome around you. This might either boil down to our poor vocabulary or to our dismal judgement of character. Nonetheless, we live in an Era of Convenience where simplicity is appreciated as long as it oils the social machinery. A person commenting on your IG feed needs to know only 3-4 adjectives. Similarly, the feedback on your blogposts can seldom gauge the original intention behind writing them. Such a wide chasm between how we are and how we seem is exploited by the tech giants who run our world today. They understand our weaknesses and cut all corners to ensure that we fit within their models of consumption.
If there are 10 people in your circle and 7 of them recommend one choice, chances are you won’t like to be in the minority. We might not call ourselves animals but we act like herds most of the time. Our inherent desire to unify buttresses our common choice. And this mindset could very well explain why we do what we do when we are together.
For instance, alcohol. It often starts with beer pressure and ends with beer belly.
I am about three months away from turning 33 and I’ve never had a drop of alcohol or tried drugs. Nothing to be proud of as it’s purely a byproduct of an old decision. The people in my circle know me for a while now but when they relay this piece of information to others, they make it sound as if it’s a superpower to be teetotaler (or as the Feds would call it, clean) in today’s environment. But for me, it’s part of my identity now. I don’t see myself losing the track in this regard. Somethings are for you. Somethings aren’t. Plain and simple.
Yet, folks continue to ask me the rugged ol’ question: Why don’t you drink? I come up with different answers depending on my mood on that given day/night.
Sharing some of my template replies here:
“I figured if everybody is doing it, something must be wrong with it.”
“Alcohol is great but so is Niagara Falls. I’d like to maintain distance while admiring it.”
“I’ll start drinking at the age of 35 and I won’t stop until it ends me. No water for me after that stage. Only liquor.”
“Blame it on Ghalib and his ominous poetry.”
“I’ve got enough addictions already. Like? Like answering questions that don’t need to be answered.”
“My dad had drinking problems.”
“I read somewhere that while making whiskey, a tiny amount of spirit leaves the barrel. They call it angel’s share. And I am not OK with that.”
“We should be able to decide for ourselves—not our friends or enemies — how we want to get wasted.”
“There are definitely far better ways to forget who we are, no?”
“I have no intention of waking up with a headache smelling like puke that might be mine or somebody else’s.”
“It’s great to be the only guy who knows exactly what everybody else is talking about.”
“They ask us to drink responsibly. I choose not to drink responsibly.”
“Being sober is boring but I am already boring so no harm done!”
“I like the sound of ‘cheers’ in the morning.”
“Why should we drink phoren alcohol that isn’t even meant for our weather? Does somebody have arrack or toddy here?”
“Instead of asking me why I don’t drink, maybe you should be asking yourself why you do.”
