How I Write: Melissa Dahl, author of CRINGEWORTHY
“I did eat a lot of chocolate-covered almonds. That seemed to help.”
Every month, I recommend a new book that’s helped me see the world differently. This month’s is Cringeworthy, by Melissa Dahl.
Melissa is a senior editor at New York Magazine (which magazine let me write a tiny story about my favorite topic in the world (pizza) one time). Her style hits the bullseye of three of my most important criteria in writing: fun, useful, and easy to get through. And Cringeworthy is a masterpiece, exploring a topic that all of us experience but hardly understand.
You can read all about the new book here. Meantime, I caught up with Melissa to talk about her creative process:
How are you preparing yourself for the title “Awkwardness Expert” to follow you around the world for the next years? :)
MD: Listen, in many ways I’ve spent 32 years preparing for this role. At least now it’s official.
What’s your process for a big writing project like CRINGEWORTHY?
MD: Oh man, I feel like my process was all over the place? I kept my job at New York while writing the book, so it was … intense! I think my process was most organized while writing the first draft. To get that done, I gave myself a daily word count of 750 words, which I would do Monday through Thursday — so, that added up to 3,000 words a week, or what amounted to about half a chapter. Many of these words were not ultimately very good, but I guess this is really the only way to get any writing done — just get the words on the page. Anne Lamott calls it the “shitty first draft”; I just heard a colleague here at The Cut call it the “vomit draft,” which also feels accurate. You really just do have to get the words down, even if they are not the best words; then you can fix them.
Also for the first draft, I did a lot of writing in the morning — I would start at 6, and write until I had to start work at 8. (I work from home in the mornings and then commute into the NYMag office.) But I … am not a morning person, no matter how much I’d like to be. So from the second draft forward, I ended up writing mostly in the evenings, which is when my brain wakes up. By the time it got to the final draft, though, I don’t even know. It was chaos! Especially with working a full time job! I just got very grabby with time — I took it wherever I found it. Sometimes I’d get up in the middle of the night to keep writing. I would go on a run or a bike ride and kind of recite passages in my head, mentally editing what I’d just written. It felt like if I wasn’t working, then I was writing. I was always, always writing.
The last 10 or so days were particularly ridiculous. My fiance (who I live with) was out of town, so I was left to my own, weird devices. Those final days, it was me, sitting in an Ikea chair (across the room from a perfectly good desk!), surrounded by half-drunk cans of energy drinks and opened bags of chips and cookies, all within arm’s reach. I’ve been going to a fair number of book launches and author Q&As since I started this whole book-writing thing, and I get the feeling that most authors have … process-ier processes than me.
What rituals, if any, do you have as a writer?
MD: I was a blogger for many years, and a newspaper reporter before that, and the thing about each of those jobs is that they really just beat all the preciousness about writing right out of you. You don’t have the luxury of making sure your environment is just-so before you start. You just have to start. (And you also have to finish, ideally in like an hour, so can you hurry up please?) So I don’t think I really even have that many rituals? Any rituals? I did eat a lot of chocolate-covered almonds. That seemed to help.
What’s your writing toolkit?
MD: Let’s see. I use my MacBook Air, and I’ve always got to have a notebook and pen around, too, to jot things down and make lists or whatever. I started using Trint to transcribe interviews, which is pricey but works pretty well. I use the TapeACall app on my phone to record interviews. It always works, but there’s always that half-second of panic before it downloads, when I worry that for some reason, this time it didn’t work.
Where do you go for inspiration? (And perhaps, what’s the most awkward thing that ever inspired you to write something?!)
MD: You know that Nora Ephron quote, “Everything is copy?” It’s corny, but I say a modified version to my Science of Us colleague sometimes: “Everything is content.” Because it’s true! Ideas are everywhere. I get a lot of ideas from conversations with my friends. Sometimes things come to me when reading news stories, or reading some new study. You just kind of follow your curiosity, see where it leads. The most awkward thing that ever inspired me to write something would have to be my 7th grade journal! Or, more specifically, my experience reading it aloud in front of strangers, when I performed in Mortified — this is a show I feature in my book, where people get on stage and read from their teenage diaries.
What’s your favorite thing you’ve ever written in your life?
MD: You know, it might just be this book, which feels really good to say! I love reading funny books of any genre, but particularly nonfiction, and particularly those written by women. Mary Roach is a perennial favorite of mine. So as I wrote Cringeworthy, my goal was to create the kind of book I’d like to read, and I do think I succeeded. I wanted to make people either laugh or cringe as they were reading, and Beyond this book — two years ago I went out for a 5-mile run and then sat down and wrote what became, I think, the most widely-read thing I’ve ever written: a Science of Us piece headlined “How Neuroscientists Explain the Mind-Clearing Magic of Running.” I thought it was so interesting! I still do.
What’s the first book you remember loving?
MD: From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler, by E.L. Konigsburg. I loved books before this one — the Ramona Quimby series comes to mind. But in 2nd grade, my teacher lent me her copy of Mixed-Up Files; she said something to me like, “I think you’ll like this.” Looking back, it must’ve been the first book I got totally on my own, without my parents knowing about it. It just felt like it was all mine in a way no other book had up until that point. That’s kind of a theme of the book, too, which is maybe why I loved it so much.
What’s your best piece of advice for writers?
MD: The concept of the shitty first draft, or the “vomit draft,” helps. Leave yourself enough time to write one of these, a very bad, very weird draft that no one, not even your editor, will see.
Also, a few years ago I wrote a blog post I headlined “This Is the Best Advice on Motivation I Have Ever Read,” and it’s still true. The idea is that you can do something — writing included! — even when you don’t feel like doing it. You can acknowledge that, yes, you really are not motivated to do your 750 words (or whatever) today, but after you acknowledge that feeling you can also … just … write the 750 words, anyway. This idea, of separating motivation to do the thing from the actual doing of the thing, has helped me so much over the years.
What do you want written on your tombstone?
MD: Wow, I’ve never thought about that before! Is it weird to say that I … almost don’t care? I won’t be around to see it! I hope the people who love me decide to write something about me that means something to them.
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