Lord of the views: the two hikers
Welcome back to the adventures of Sam, Jelle, and our campervan, Paula! Last time, our heroes arrived in Franz Josef Glacier to commune with the Franz Josef Glacier. That’s right, the town and the glacier share a name. With nary a freedom camping spot in sight, we resigned ourselves to paying for a campsite for only the second time all trip. It was well worth the money; lots of amenities but most tantalizing of all was the unlimited free WiFi, a rare find here in NZ.
On arrival, we learned that the glacier has been in retreat for the past several hundred years — this trend has only accelerated as the effects of global warming continue to intensify. The wall which previously provided hike-in access to the glacier collapsed in the mid-2000s, and the actual ice itself is now only accessible via helicopter. FJG is quite the enterprising town — as such, the sky is now positively teeming with helicopters, with tour options ranging from “we’ll fly you up and down for the Instagram” all the way to “strap on your ice axe and crampons for a three hour ice trek” — and prices vary accordingly. Jelle just graduated from a master’s program and I am unemployed, so these were all out of the question. We decided to tackle the Alex Knob Track, an “eight-hour out-and-back,*” the following morning instead.
The ranger told us we should aim to summit Alex Knob by 11am to avoid cloud cover, so we woke up bright and early and began trekking. The trail was relatively rough and unkempt, taking us through the mud, rock, and root-floored rainforest for the first 4/5ths of the hike. We were rewarded around halfway up with some incredible views of the glacier and surrounding area. We learned prior to the hike that the glacier used to stretch all the way to the ocean, and this fact became apparent in front of our eyes the higher we climbed.
The last fifth of the track opened up into high alpine shrub covered in snow. We walked up along the ridgeline mere feet from a plunge to the valley floor all the way to the summit. For our trouble, we were rewarded with a giant gray curtain of fog. It turned out that 11am was the only time that day without views directly from the summit!
Sometimes you just get unlucky, and we still got some pretty nice views from other points anyways. Exhausted from the climb down, we parked in town in a hurry and made directly for the hot pools…perhaps in too much in a hurry. After soaking our tired bodies, we arrived back at the van only to find a parking ticket! Our unlucky streak continued!
To drown our sorrows, we decided to treat ourselves that evening to a decidedly strange happy hour offer: two pizzas for the price of one, but only if you ordered a cocktail off the happy hour menu, which entirely consisted of gin drinks. So a negroni and Hawaiian pizza it was! After dinner, we hit the hot pools to digest which sent us both woozily to bed.
The following morning, we departed for Wanaka. In summer 2014 while backpacking in Thailand, I befriended two Kiwi sisters, Katie and Nicola. The former now lives in Australia, but Nicola lives in Wanaka and was kind enough to offer up her home and driveway for us!
The drive to Wanaka was classic New Zealand: rainy, windy, and absolutely gorgeous, with huge mountains tumbling down into a mighty lake. After a happy reunion with a now clearly pregnant Nicola, we found ourselves sipping tea in the comfort of her home that evening. While in Thailand, I had heard much about her boyfriend Danny, so it was great to finally meet him in person. I also met remaining sister Biddie and Juno, their puppy. They were so welcoming and hospitable, offering up their shower, kitchen, washing machine and more as needed. They even cooked us a delicious meal of venison sausages and potatoes, with a lamb shoulder appetizer. Nicola gave us some tips on exploring the surrounding area, so the following morning we set off to summit Roy’s Peak.
This is a well-known trek in Wanaka, and the trailhead was quite busy on arrival. The route follows wide switchbacks through active farmland all the way up the side of the mountain. The face points towards the lake, northern mountain ranges, and Wanaka, and is clear of trees, so you get a consistently beautiful view that only becomes more majestic the higher you ascend. We met some friendly Indian bros visiting from Auckland along the way to the summit, who invited us to hang with them when we get back to the north island. Most hikers head back down after reaching an incredible viewpoint (see my instagram) but we decided to press on toward the summit. The going got rough the final kilometer or so, as you ascend a snowy ridge while enduring battering cold winds. We made it to the top.
We eventually had to say our goodbyes to Nicola and friends :( but it was time for Queenstown…
Yeah so we pretty much blew right through Queenstown. It’s the self-proclaimed “adventure capital of the world,” but apparently their definition of adventure means “pay a lot of money for tours and activities.” We decided to save our cash for Milford Sound experiences, but did walk around for a bit and had lunch at local legendary burger joint Fergburger. Jelle got the venison burger because he is an absolute savage.
We also took an extra detour by traversing the Queenstown-Glenorchy scenic route. You can’t go anywhere from Glenorchy besides right back to Queenstown; it’s a 45-minute journey each way and Glenorchy itself is pretty boring — the drive itself is the main attraction. On a trip where we seemingly spend 30% of our time driving around, this may seem insane. It was definitely worth it and I’ll let the pictures speak for themselves.
It was getting quite late but we decided to press on to Te Anau, gateway to Milford Sound. The soothing sounds of Rob Inglis’s baritone voice** carried us through the night all the way there.
The following morning, we visited the Te Anau Caves, a cave network carved out by an underground river. Our tour involved walking through the caves around rushing streams and waterfalls, as well as taking a boat through a pitch-black water passage to watch constellations of glowworms glitter overhead. (Nerd alert) Floating along in complete darkness under the otherworldly glow reminded me of stories I’ve read of passing through the bardo, the Buddhist intermediate state between life and death.
After a brief lunch, we stopped by another Lord of the Rings filming location and began making our way toward Milford Sound.
The road there was incredibly gorgeous, and a fantastic warmup act for what was to come next…
We spent the entire following day in sensory overload. Milford Sound is not a sound at all — it’s actually a fjord, meaning it was carved out by glaciers then flooded. It’s low points form a U-shape. This is in contrast to sounds, which are carved out by rivers then flooded. As a result, they form a V-shape. What this means in practice is, towering steep mountains that plunge right into wide, deep canals without shorelines: our large catamaran was able to sail right up to the sides of the fjords without fear of running aground. Milford Sound is also one of the wettest places on Earth, with rainfall levels higher than even that of the Amazon rainforest. Rain + steep mountains = hundreds of spontaneous waterfalls that cascade down the walls. The rainwater can be so heavy, and the walls so sheer, that “tree avalanches” often occur, with wide swaths of rainforest losing its grip on the mountains and plunging into the water below.
We cruised around in the morning, visiting massive waterfalls and stopped at an. underwater observatory to get up close with some sea life. In the afternoon, we climbed to the Key Summit, which offered stunning views of the area.
We’re now back in Te Anau and figuring out where to go from here. Until next time…
*Everywhere else in the world presents hiking stats in terms of elevation and distance so you can estimate how long it will take your group to complete a trail. New Zealand’s Department of Conservation takes it upon themselves to tell you around how long they feel it should take, rather than providing the raw data itself. I will avoid getting into how insane this is and just tell you that Jelle and I have found we complete hikes in roughly 70% of the posted times.
**He narrates the audiobook version of The Hobbit and does SUCH A GOOD JOB
