Conflict is not inherently negative. In January, Sharehold wrote about it in our newsletter when we first shared our Calm Conflict Code.*
Why We Created Our Calm Conflict Code
We wrote the Calm Conflict Code during a particularly stressful project late last year. We have always worked to present a united front to clients, support one another behind the scenes, and do our best possible work. In fact, the conflict arose because we were each trying to do our best possible work, just in different ways.
The team was experiencing a jumble of challenges: burning the candle at both ends, traveling often, and scheduling around several time zones. Combined with our different styles of working, we were left feeling disconnected and in conflict. Though our team is used to breakneck speed, we hadn’t made time for patient internal discussion. Instead, we made assumptions and communication was disjointed.
The team felt deeply uncomfortable navigating the departure from our typical, warm-hearted workflow. So we wrote the Calm Conflict Code together.
Approach Over Resolution
Interestingly, the initial draft of the Calm Conflict Code focused on solving conflict. Our team thrives on creating solutions, so it felt appropriate to end conflicts and tie a nice bow around the resolution. However, someone on the team piped up: “I don’t think we should approach conflict looking for a solution. Conflict always exists in one way or another, we just need to make space for it.”
Yes, we agreed, yes — conflict isn’t the issue. Our approach and reaction to the conflict were what we needed to address.
Since completing the aforementioned project and moving forward with the Calm Conflict Code, we’ve reflected on that time, often with a lot of laughter. Each person on the project brings a huge amount of expertise to the table, but we’re also pretty quirky and celebrate that idiosyncrasy. It’s this baseline of respect for one another’s intellectual and cultural contributions to the team that led us through conflict and on to new work, together.
The Calm Conflict Code in Progress
Down the line, we plan to incorporate our Calm Conflict Code into statements of work, alongside our typical operations clauses like project communication details and deadlines, as well as discuss it with clients at kickoff meetings.
“Conflict always exists in one way or another, we just need to make space for it.”
But honestly, it feels so much trickier to define an approach to conflict with clients than within our team. Clients and their agency partners naturally default to polite interactions. While we know from experience that honesty is a powerful form of compassion, a resulting disagreement can feel abrasive, and we ultimately want clients to feel comfortable.
So, our Calm Conflict Code is still in progress and we plan to update it as new ideas and situations occur. Here are a few things we’re thinking about as a team:
- Navigating conflict in a productive way requires a foundation of respect, which our team has developed. For new clients, how might we best (and quickly) establish a foundation of respect that can weather conflict?
- Navigating conflict requires that we take responsibility for our emotions and history. Is it too invasive to ask clients to be that vulnerable as well?
- How might we account for clients with organizational cultures and relationships to conflict that differ from ours? Can we find a way to co-design a Sharehold-client Conflict Code?
We’re always interested in feedback, so feel free to weigh in by leaving a comment or reach out directly at hello@sharehold.co.
*We plan to keep the Calm Conflict Code public unless it’s under construction
