Is Everyone Having Great Sex All the Time, But Me?
Letting go of sexual perfectionism.
by Anonymous
“What is the best sex you’ve ever had?”
My friends look at me expectantly, waiting for my answer. One of them stops chewing.
I am at a dinner party — and even though the guests span various sexual orientations — I still find myself feeling put on the spot to perform.
I run through my catalogue of memories, looking for the wildest experience. Perhaps if I mention that time in the elevator? The parking lot? Anything to make my friends gasp in oohs and aahs.
My answers seem to have passed the test. The reactions in the room confirm I’ve had an exciting sex life. I am off the hook. Then came the follow-up question.
“So, when was the last time you cleared those cobwebs?”
It’s been a while. In fact, I can still count the number of my sexual partners on two hands. I sink lower into my chair in shame. I guess it’s not enough to only have had “great sex” once or twice.
Among having a house, a car, a fulfilling career, and a relationship, our culture puts constant pressure on us to excel (or worry) at yet another aspect of our lives—sex and sexual performance.
