Of Course You Believe Me, You’re My Friend
How to support friends beyond “I see you, I believe you”
by Nashwa Lina Khan (author’s website)
Content Notes: There is nothing explicit, but there are mentions of rape and other related topics such as survivorship, victim-blaming, abusers, sexual violence etc.
Author’s Note: I hope to go beyond the discomfort and/or investments people may have in abusers, and focus on supporting survivors and holding those who do harm accountable in authentic ways. I do not think abuse and violence will end but I wish we lived in a world where the people around us could support each other. Survivors want to tell their stories, but they also want and need so much more. So of course you believe your friends, but support and communities of care go beyond this.
Saying “I believe you” may seem like good anti-oppressive practice but why wouldn’t you believe someone? What precedents are cemented in our world for three simple words to disrupt the ways people react to survivors of sexual violence? Before hashtag social movements like #MeToo, #TimesUp, and #IBelieveYou, “I believe you” has and continues to generate polarizing conversations around supporting survivors. Even as we chip away at rape culture — deeply embedded disbelief of survivors, lack of justice, victim blaming, and…
