Clash of Values
TWEEEEET!
Scoring Goals
The referee blew the whistle and with that sound, the first soccer game of the season was underway. I was ready for the season. The past summer, I had been practicing almost every day, putting in the time and sweat to hopefully become a starter on the team. I could almost feel a perfect season ahead. Scoring lots of goals, playing against rival schools, celebrating hard-fought victories– everything pointed to an almost perfect season that year.
After the first few minutes had passed, the ball went out of bounds and I went to go throw it back in. As the referee handed me the ball, he must have noticed the kanthi I was wearing around my neck.
He immediately told me to take it off or to get substituted off the field.
I knew that there were rules against wearing necklaces but from my previous experience, religious items could usually be exempt from the rule. However, even as I tried to explain this to the referee, I felt the situation spiraling out of my control and was faced with an unthinkable decision.
Not Just a Necklace
But first, you might be wondering, what is a kanthi?
A kanthi is a two-stringed necklace of wooden beads that is tied around my neck that, on the surface, symbolizes that I adhere to the Swaminarayan Hindu faith. However, beyond the physical qualities, it is a deeply important aspect of my faith and my connection to God. It symbolizes that God is always with me and is protecting me, no matter the situation I am placed in. It inspires me to follow the footsteps of my guru, or spiritual teacher, His Holiness Pramukh Swami Maharaj, and strive to become a better person day-by-day.
Decision Time
Going back to the game…
After arguing with the referee for a minute or two, it was clear that the only way I would be allowed to play was to take it off and I gave up trying to convince myself otherwise. Knowing that my guru wouldn’t want me to take off my kanthi, I sulked off the field, frustrated with the rules, the referee, and everything wrong that happened that day. In my mind, I knew that I had made the right choice. I had adhered to my values and made a difficult choice that would, ultimately, gain the rajipo of my guru. So why, then, was there still a sinking feeling in my heart?
As the first half progressed, I distractedly watched the game. My teammates were doing fine without me and holding their own but I was eager to get back in the action. In the back of my mind, I kept thinking of scenarios where I would be able to play sometime before the game ended. Obviously, the easiest way was to just take off my kanthi and play; however, that turned out to be the hardest approach of all. Whether it was trying to make my guru happy or even some of my arrogance kicking in, I knew that I had to get back in the game while also having my kanthi on. I ran through some other scenarios in my head, no matter how outlandish they seemed.
Would my conscience accept it if I tied it around my wrist instead? Probably not.
Could I hide it when walking on the field and put it on when the referee wasn’t looking? I had nowhere to hide it.
I racked my brain trying to think of something to let me get back in the game while keeping my kanthi on. No matter what I thought of, however, never did I consider looking through the perspective of the referee.
I later realized that I was so determined to stick to my ideals and play that I didn’t think about how the rule and the referee may actually be trying to keep me safe. It wasn’t until I thought of a prominent incident of my guru Pramukh Swami Maharaj that helped me realize this fact.
This prasang takes place in 1999 when Pramukh Swami Maharaj visited the city of Jerusalem, a holy site for many different religions. In the city, Pramukh Swami Maharaj visited the Western Wall which is one of the holiest sites for the Jewish faith. It is common for people to write prayers on pieces of paper and place them in the wall. Upon looking around at the wall, Pramukh Swami Maharaj saw everyone placing pieces of paper in the wall and praying silently in front of the wall. Seeking to remain respectful of other people’s faiths while also participating in the customary action, he placed a flower in the wall and made a prayer. He prayed to God that all of the prayers that have been said here and written on the paper are granted.
From this incident, it is clear that Pramukh Swami Maharaj is always willing to be respectful of others’ beliefs and wishes the best for all. Furthermore, he was able to understand the sentiments of other people and because of that, he was able to respect their wishes.
As I recalled this incident, I realized the importance of compromising and working with others.
Not everyone, including me, can have what they want but that isn’t an excuse to not try to seek out a solution that benefits all. In this situation, I knew that I had to somehow find a creative solution to adhere with this rule and try to keep myself safe while also wearing my kanthi.
I began looking around with renewed vigor and laid my eyes upon the athletic trainers. I knew that they always kept some type of tape or straps to treat injuries on the field and realized that I could use them to secure my kanthi. I ran to them, got some tape, and frantically tried to tape my kanthi to my skin so it wouldn’t get loose. Around this time, halftime was called, and I didn’t want to miss the second half as well.
The tape felt rough and irritating on my skin but after remembering once again the importance of compromising, I brushed it aside as a minor distraction and focused only on the game.
I walked out onto the field, having passed the referee’s inspection of my kanthi, and was determined to have a strong finish to the game. I played my hardest and eventually, we managed to win 1–0.
It was a pretty exciting game; however, the main thing I took away from that game was how to apply the teachings and qualities of my guru to my own life. Just like how Pramukh Swami Maharaj was able to understand everyone and solve problems with ease, I learned how to put myself in someone else’s shoes once in a while and work with them. Now that Pramukh Swami Maharaj’s Centennial Celebrations are coming up, I will continue to gain inspiration from his life by having a little more understanding and working with others to create a more prosperous world.
