10 Extremely Effective Housekeeping Tips That Works in Auto-Mode

Being a bachelor living alone in a bigger than required house, and the maid being lazier than me, the gruesome responsibility of housekeeping falls on my already burdened shoulders. I used to find myself overwhelmed every single day with this daily task of keeping the house picked up.

But with time I’ve learned some awesome practical tips that are just pure gold. As a sensible, conscientious, and compassionate human being, it is my duty to dispense the knowledge and wisdom that I have acquired after many trials and errors. It will not only put your house cleaning chores in auto-mode but will also make the world envy of you. Check’em out below

1. Organize your daily chores into 3 categories: Things I won’t do now, Things I won’t do tomorrow, and Things I won’t do ever…(Now relax)
2. Always buy dark colored clothes, bed-sheets, pillow covers, towels etc. (And you can now forget to wash them forever)
3. Keep a pet lizard if your house is infested with insects (Keep two lizards if you are also deprived of love)
4. Never invite people to your house (Especially those with preteen children. They will not only soil your home, eat your food, and cut short your precious resting time, but also demean your cooking and housekeeping skills behind your back)
5. If guests are persistent to come, ask them to come with dark socks and low expectations
6. When guests arrive, politely greet them with these words: “Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen”
7. Soak the dishes in soapy water so it appears to your guests that you were going to clean them
8. Instead of cleaning the house, keep your home dimly lit (and your guests would never be able to notice the lice and the bedbugs)
9. Spend your time and resources on grooming yourself (if despite your unwelcoming signals, someone drops by, he or she will have no interest in looking around at anything but you)
10. If nothing else works, burn down the house