My honest resume

Sharik Khan

Address: I will never invite you to my home, so you’ll never need it

Phone no: I shall change my caller tune before sharing my phone no.

Fax: Who faxes things anymore?!

Email: sharikdon@gmail.com …Wow, I’m so creative 😜

Professional Summary: A visionary with an acute sense of future established by the fact that I’ve never voted for BJP. A seasoned professional that held multiple positions doing more or less the same thing at incremental rates of pay

Experience:

1. Developed a proprietary method to plan trips for the weekends while pretending to work
2. Got all my friends to like my company’s Facebook page
3. Scheduled & rescheduled meetings with seniors and partners
4. Discussed how all we do is discuss what’s wrong with company’s management
5. Developed an over-arching company’s vision for the year 2050
6. Sent one late night work email to boss every week
7. Complained about the job

Education:

1. Finished high school by the skin of my teeth
2. Didn’t attend lovely professional university for a degree in b.tech
3. Didn’t attend IIPM for a degree in MBA

Skills:

1. Proficient in cleaning email of all those spam mails
2. Highly skilled in getting full paged printouts of Excel worksheets
3. Efficient in ordering sandwiches and coffee with zero waste during board meetings
4. Emits pleasant aroma(s) after having company sponsored lunches

Reference: References unavailable because they were all burned up in fire